Sometimes, because of my optimistic tendencies, it may appear that my life is perfect, that nothing is wrong, and that I don’t have any problems. And, for the most part, my life has thankfully not been filled with huge difficulties or problems in the past year or so…but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t little things that bother me or upset me.
Currently, I am going through a time of growth, for lack of a better explanation…things that have happened, things that I have learned or experienced in the past year are all culminating and I am overwhelmed with trying to sort through this mass of things that have seemingly been “heaped” upon me all at once…it’s rough, but we all go through these times.
Last night I decided to make a list of “Things that don’t make me smile” (which I will not post here) and the more I wrote, the more things came to mind. It intrigued me…
A good friend called me last night, unexpectedly, and the conversation that we had was more helpful than I had ever imagined. I hadn’t talked to this friend in a while, and as we talked I realized that things were as they used to be…this was the friend that I know and love…and it filled my heart with joy, even as we were discussing difficult things…
He reminded me that it’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to be pessimistic once in a while, because we need to make sure to evaluate things realistically–otherwise we can end up going crazy. He told me, as he has in the past, that sometimes I forget that it’s okay to lean on other people–because usually people lean on me and come to me for encouragement and support, and I tend to push my own needs aside in order to help others. It’s okay to need to be encouraged–and I definitely know that is true.
I have long pushed aside a few things that I never wanted to deal with–and I never planned on dealing with–and I am realizing now that I need to handle these things…I need to heal completely, otherwise I cannot move past these things.
Growing is never easy, and I believe that the Lord is using these things to strengthen me, to cause me to grow in my faith, and to grow closer to Him. I just wanted to be honest with my blog readers about my “imperfect” life, as it may appear to be a little too perfect most of the time 🙂
“And You know the plans You have for me, and You can’t plan the end and not plan the means…so I suppose I just need some peace just to get me to sleep…”