It seems so surreal that we are already nearing the end of this pregnancy. After today, she can come at ANY time.

The nursery is ready, the car seat is installed, and the hospital bag is packed. We have taken our childbirth and breastfeeding classes and have one more “newborn care” class tomorrow.

This begins my last week of work, and that is definitely a bittersweet feeling. I have so enjoyed my position (and co-workers) at the Dearden House over the past ten months, but I am really looking forward to beginning the most important job that I will ever have: wife and mother.

I jokingly say that I’m about to become “Director of Operations at the Brackbill Homestead” because that makes it sound more official and “important” in the world’s terms, but titles don’t matter. I’m simply excited to be able to have the opportunity to stay at home and raise our daughter (and future children), even though I know it will be incredibly challenging at times and I’m not sure how well I will do. I am going to take it one day at a time, relying on the Lord’s wisdom to guide me through this journey of parenthood, alongside my husband.

As far as the pregnancy itself is going, everything is fine, despite my designation as “high risk” at this point. They had me start a small injection of insulin last week, at dinner, to try to lower my fasting numbers, and it has lowered them somewhat (still not “within the criteria” though). After my first day of using the insulin I dropped the bottle (which cost $100 out of our HSA) and it shattered. I was so upset. Thankfully we got another one the next morning (for another $100), and I only missed one day. I have to watch for low blood sugar now because the nutritionist said it is a high possibility for me since my blood sugar numbers aren’t high to begin with…so that’s been yet another thing to monitor.

They think the baby is already 7lbs 7oz (as of 07/02/14), and I still have “too much” amniotic fluid, but my fluid numbers aren’t that high (they want you to be at 25 at delivery and I am at 29), and I’ve heard that they tend to overestimate the size of the baby. The next growth ultrasound is on July 21.

I am increasingly frustrated with going to the doctor twice a week, with having to eat on a schedule/take insulin, and with the twice-a-week “non-stress tests” (which are stressful for me because our baby likes to sleep during them). I am averaging two ultrasounds (technically called “biophysical profiles”) a week because she won’t wake up for the NSTs. The doc says that babies have 20 minute sleep cycles, but ours definitely sleeps for an hour and then is active for an hour. She’s already unique 🙂

But, all of this frustration is also making me more and more ready for her to vacate and join our family, so there are positives to this. 🙂 I also am able to see her face twice a week, which most parents don’t get to do, so I try to focus on that and not be frustrated by the extra time those seemingly useless ultrasounds take (often making me late for work).

While I am a little sad that the days of it just being Brennan and me are numbered, I also know that she is going to bring such joy and richness to our lives, and that our love for her and for each other is only going to grow. I can’t wait to see how parenthood changes us and how God will use this in our lives to help us grow.

Please pray with us that she will come on her own in the next two weeks so that they won’t induce me (which is what they say will be necessary). Please also pray that she remains head-down so that they will not have to do a c-section on July 29th, as currently scheduled.