A Mama’s Prayer…

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Jesus –

As I sit and rock this precious baby, I am reminded of all you have done in our lives to bring us to this moment.

You brought me to Pennsylvania twice to serve as a “summer missionary” and helped me fall in love with the area…

…you established friendships for me here that would bring me back four years later for two weddings – a trip that renewed my love for the state…

…you put a fire in my soul so that I would move here nine months later…

…you led me to East Shore Baptist Church, so that, among other things, I would eventually meet Brennan, nine months later…

…you created us to be perfect for each other, and we got married…

…you allowed us to grow even closer together as we tried and tried for nearly two years to conceive…

…you created beautiful Victoria in your perfect timing and gave her to us as a joyful blessing…

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And here we are, a family.

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Jesus – we know that you work all things together for your plan and purposes (Romans 8:28). We know that you love us more than we can even begin to imagine.

Lord Jesus – our hearts are broken and we are weary. Our precious baby girl is hurting and there are so many unknowns.

But we know that YOU know exactly what is wrong. You know the path that we must take in order to bring her back to good health. And we know that you alone know the future you have in store for Tori.

We are trusting you fully with this unknown future because you have proved yourself to be faithful to us time and time again, and we know that you are sovereign. We know that you are good. We know that you love Tori more than we ever could – and we certainly love her SO much.

Lord, let the MRI show exactly what is wrong. Allow it to show the neurosurgeon exactly what he needs to see in order to plan for treatment. Jesus, please create scheduling openings so that she can be treated this week if at all possible.

Please help Tori cope with the effects of the anesthesia tomorrow and bring her comfort throughout this process. Ease her pain tomorrow to make it all less scary for her.

Please heal our little girl. Please bring back our happy, developing, playful girl.

And most of all, please use this for your glory. We know this isn’t happening for nothing – whatever your plan is, we trust it.

Jesus, I am so weary and worn, and most days I feel like I just can’t handle this anymore because watching her suffer is excruciating. I am weak, but i know you are strong.

I know that you are there, that you understand, and that is enough.

Please, heal Tori.

13 thoughts on “A Mama’s Prayer…

  1. In a women’s bible study today, I was painfully reminded of the revelation I faced when holding our first child–a daughter–in my arms…I love this baby in ways unimaginable. My capacity for love of this little human is beyond explanation! The truly remarkable thing is that God loves her more. He knows her better. He has even more invested in her than I do! This is true for every single one of our children, those here on earth, the one in heaven, and the children in our future.

    As you walk through the days ahead, seek refuge and marinate on that truth…neither you nor your husband nor your beautiful Tori will be abandoned. You are LOVED!!
    ~~Laura
    (Mom of Ella–age 5, Ian–age 4, Gabe (in heaven as of Nov 24 at 13 months due to a rare embryonic brain tumor) and Baby #4 due June 3

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  2. ….Lord restore your glory that had shone in this family, bring happiness and good health to this innocent little Tori, together with these loving parents who had freely given their lives unto you…Amen!
    God promised not to leave nor forsake us, so am so happy that you always stand by him since he has a reason and solution to everything that brings complexity to human. you’ll have to keep on with the faith and be assured we are with you in prayers and the whole encounter!

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  3. May your sweet prayers be answered. May you feel God’s comfort and continue to seek His wisdom and strength through these days.

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  4. Lesa, We are strangers here on earth, but sisters in Christ. Please know that we, and our entire church in Lewisburg, WV, are praying for all of you.

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  5. Praying you would sense Jesus’s arms wrap you tightly as you hold your sweet girl in yours. Praying He will fill you with overflowing peace, just as you desire that for her. Praying for eyes to see Him clearly just as she looks up at yours.

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  6. I know you do not know me…but I want you to know that I am praying for your family…especially for your precious little girl. I am praying for wisdom for the doctors, healing for your sweet baby and peace and strength for you.
    “Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you!”

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