Introducing Victoria

DSC_5506Nine days ago our lives truly changed forever. Little Miss Brackbill made her appearance after 20 hours of labor and finally a c-section. Nothing went as we had planned or hoped, but ultimately what matters is that she is healthy and happy and here with us.

I was induced at 12pm on July 29th with “the gel” and began having contractions at home by 1pm. My water broke around 3:30pm so we headed to the hospital where they confirmed that I was indeed in labor and was at 3cm. We were taken to our labor and delivery room around 6:30pm and the “fun” really began there.

I had planned to have a completely natural birth – no medicine or interventions – and I successfully labored for ten hours that way. However, around 11pm I decided to ask for pain medication as I was exhausted, hungry, and in so much pain (obviously). I had another dose around 1am and then finally caved and asked for an epidural around 3am. I was only at 6cm and the contractions were getting to be too much for me. I cried when I made that decision because it was definitely not what I had ever wanted, but I am so glad that I opted to have one – I went from 6cm to 9.5cm in an hour after the epidural was in place! Had my labor been shorter, I think I could have made it naturally…but it was just too much.

They allowed me to rest until 6:30am, which was wonderful except for the few moments of fear when I woke up surrounded by nurses who were flipping me over on my side and wouldn’t explain what was going on. My blood pressure had dropped and so had Tori’s heart rate, apparently, but they were able to resolve that quickly.

We began pushing at 6:30am. For two hours, I attempted to push with no success. Finally, at 8:30am, my doctor said that a c-section was necessary because the baby wasn’t going to fit through the birth canal. They had suspected early on that my birth canal might be “narrow” but this confirmed the suspicion.

At this point, I was so exhausted that I welcomed the decision, though I was again disappointed because I hadn’t been able to deliver her naturally. However, Brennan was (as always) a wonderful support and he reminded me that it doesn’t matter how she comes out, just that she does.

012b63d38c09c6be0095e0f2a8dd64e83b1077b798Tori was born at 9:25am and I was in recovery by 11am, I think. I didn’t get to hold her until about an hour after her birth because my arms were numb from the anesthesia. But, Brennan was able to be with her the whole time after birth, following her around as she was weighed and measured, and then doing “skin-to-skin” time with her since I was unable to do so. I am so thankful for those first couple of days where he was able to be her main caretaker – what a great bonding experience for them!

We chose to keep her name a secret for many reasons, and it was such fun to finally reveal her name to our family and friends. We chose Victoria because it means “victorious” and we know that with Jesus she will be victorious. We chose Ruth to honor one of her great-grandmothers – my mom’s mom – someone who has been such an incredible part of my life and such a great example of what it means to be a godly woman. We chose to give her a “nickname” from birth because we love the name Tori, and now she’ll really know when she’s in trouble 😉

 

I was discharged at my request after 48 hours as I was feeling great but also knew that I would rest far better at home. I only took pain medications (1/4 of the recommended dosage, even) for two days at home and haven’t been on anything since. I praise the Lord for a mostly painless recovery, even though I know I still have to take it easy and I still have 4.5 weeks to go before being fully released. I didn’t know beforehand that I wouldn’t be allowed to walk up or down stairs, so I’m confined to one floor of our house at this point (unless I walk around the house to get into the basement). This does mean that I can’t do laundry, however 😉 Not so bad.

My parents have been here since her birthday and will be here for another eight days. They have been a tremendous support to Brennan, Tori, and me, and it has been so nice to have them here to spend time with their first grandchild.

Tori is adjusting to life on earth fairly well, though we’ve had a few rough and sleepless nights. However, she’s learning and so are we, and we just keep reminding ourselves that this will get better, and that these days are precious and numbered.  Someday we’ll look back and think that this was the easy time in life 🙂

Thank you all for your prayers and support!

First Pregnancy: 37 Weeks!

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It seems so surreal that we are already nearing the end of this pregnancy. After today, she can come at ANY time.

The nursery is ready, the car seat is installed, and the hospital bag is packed. We have taken our childbirth and breastfeeding classes and have one more “newborn care” class tomorrow.

This begins my last week of work, and that is definitely a bittersweet feeling. I have so enjoyed my position (and co-workers) at the Dearden House over the past ten months, but I am really looking forward to beginning the most important job that I will ever have: wife and mother.

I jokingly say that I’m about to become “Director of Operations at the Brackbill Homestead” because that makes it sound more official and “important” in the world’s terms, but titles don’t matter. I’m simply excited to be able to have the opportunity to stay at home and raise our daughter (and future children), even though I know it will be incredibly challenging at times and I’m not sure how well I will do. I am going to take it one day at a time, relying on the Lord’s wisdom to guide me through this journey of parenthood, alongside my husband.

As far as the pregnancy itself is going, everything is fine, despite my designation as “high risk” at this point. They had me start a small injection of insulin last week, at dinner, to try to lower my fasting numbers, and it has lowered them somewhat (still not “within the criteria” though). After my first day of using the insulin I dropped the bottle (which cost $100 out of our HSA) and it shattered. I was so upset. Thankfully we got another one the next morning (for another $100), and I only missed one day. I have to watch for low blood sugar now because the nutritionist said it is a high possibility for me since my blood sugar numbers aren’t high to begin with…so that’s been yet another thing to monitor.

They think the baby is already 7lbs 7oz (as of 07/02/14), and I still have “too much” amniotic fluid, but my fluid numbers aren’t that high (they want you to be at 25 at delivery and I am at 29), and I’ve heard that they tend to overestimate the size of the baby. The next growth ultrasound is on July 21.

I am increasingly frustrated with going to the doctor twice a week, with having to eat on a schedule/take insulin, and with the twice-a-week “non-stress tests” (which are stressful for me because our baby likes to sleep during them). I am averaging two ultrasounds (technically called “biophysical profiles”) a week because she won’t wake up for the NSTs. The doc says that babies have 20 minute sleep cycles, but ours definitely sleeps for an hour and then is active for an hour. She’s already unique 🙂

But, all of this frustration is also making me more and more ready for her to vacate and join our family, so there are positives to this. 🙂 I also am able to see her face twice a week, which most parents don’t get to do, so I try to focus on that and not be frustrated by the extra time those seemingly useless ultrasounds take (often making me late for work).

photo 1While I am a little sad that the days of it just being Brennan and me are numbered, I also know that she is going to bring such joy and richness to our lives, and that our love for her and for each other is only going to grow. I can’t wait to see how parenthood changes us and how God will use this in our lives to help us grow.

Please pray with us that she will come on her own in the next two weeks so that they won’t induce me (which is what they say will be necessary). Please also pray that she remains head-down so that they will not have to do a c-section on July 29th, as currently scheduled.

Preparing a Place for Our Baby…Part Two

In my last post, I showed pictures of the progress we’d made on the baby’s room.

We had a lot of work to do between refinishing the floors and painting every inch of the room, but it’s DONE! My mom flew out from California for a week to help us with the painting and other preparations, and we are so thankful for her time and effort. The end result is a drastic difference from what we started with – though that wasn’t hard to achieve 😉 We still have things to do, such as hanging decorations on the walls, but the majority of it is done and we have about three months to organize and prepare for her arrival.

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We were SO blessed at our baby shower and were especially thankful to receive her crib! What a relief it is to have it in our home, assembled and ready for her! It is beautiful and we are so excited to have it already. There are still things that we need to purchase, like the stroller/car seat, but having the crib now relieves a great burden.

I’m 28.5 weeks pregnant, so she can come as soon as 9 weeks from now, which is crazy. This pregnancy has flown by and I can’t believe we’re 9-12 weeks away from meeting her!

First Pregnancy: 25 Weeks and Counting…

IMG_0289-2This post is more vulnerable than I tend to be on here, but I know that my struggle isn’t uncommon among women, especially those who are pregnant, so I felt that it was worth sharing.

Last week we had our “maternity photos” taken by a talented friend of mine who was in town for a visit.

I had hesitated to have them done because I am incredibly self-conscious of my appearance right now; however, knowing myself, I realized that I would likely regret not having done this to document our first pregnancy. We decided that even if we didn’t share any of them, it was important to have them taken for our benefit and for our baby girl to see some day.

We had these done the day after my 24-week appointment – the one where I was told that I had gained “too much weight” the past month, therefore making me feel even worse about my weight and appearance. The number I saw on the scale was truly horrifying and one that I never thought that I would ever see. Not exactly what you want to hear before having portraits taken!

It doesn’t help that I was already overweight when I found out I was pregnant (I had actually just lost 11 pounds and was doing really well with losing weight…figures 🙂 ). I was already self-conscious and nervous about gaining weight during pregnancy because of this, so hearing that from the nurses just made me feel *great* about myself. 🙂

I’ve tried to remind myself of a few things over the past 25 weeks:

1 – I am growing a human being. This takes a toll on any pregnant woman’s body.

2 – I am supposed to gain weight, and as long as I am doing my best to be healthy, the number on the scale doesn’t matter (much easier said than believed).

3 – After delivery, breastfeeding and a good diet/exercise will melt the pounds away, and I will be able to work toward being at a healthy weight before the next pregnancy.

4 – My husband loves me no matter what and he still thinks that I am beautiful. He tells me that daily, even though I may not agree 🙂

5 – I have to stop playing the comparison game! It doesn’t matter what other pregnant women look like. It doesn’t matter that they might look “cuter” pregnant than I do. At the end of the day, what matters is that our baby is healthy and I am healthy.

I know that this will be a daily battle for the next few months, especially when comments like the one I received yesterday are received (“you look like you’re ready to go any day!”). But, the most important thing that I can do right now is to just continue eating well and taking care of the growing baby inside of me, no matter what the scale (or my mind) says. That’s all that matters.

 


 

Other than the above, I am still feeling GREAT and am so very thankful that pregnancy has been so kind to me thus far. I am having issues sleeping because of hip pain, but Brennan’s massage skills are really helping to calm down the irritated muscles and allowing me to sleep more soundly.

I will be 26 weeks on Sunday and can’t believe that we’re getting so close to meeting her already! My last day of work is less than three months from now…crazy.

No, we do not have a name. Even if we did, we have decided to not share the name until birth for multiple reasons. 🙂

She is kicking and moving around frequently now (ever since 22 weeks), though not strong enough for Brennan to be able to feel yet.

The floor in her room was refinished last weekend thanks to Brennan and our friend Dean! Next is a fresh coat (or coats) of paint in the next few weeks and then decorating.

This is getting real.

Tomorrow’s the big day!

Boy or girl?

Tomorrow’s the day we find out what our little baby is!

Here are the results from the survey we posted on Facebook:
53.85% said girl, 46.15% said boy.

We had some fun with the silly prediction methods we found on the Internet as well. According to the “Ajax test” and the “nose width” test, it’s a boy. 

Lesa’s guess is still that it’s a girl, but she would be perfectly fine with being wrong. 😉 Brennan’s guess is still that it’s a boy. Results will be posted at some point this week!