For the past four months we have had the constant humming of an oxygen concentrator in our home. Every few minutes we would hear the loud noise of the suction machine. There was constant noise and we eventually became numb to it all…
…until it stopped.
We turned off the oxygen concentrator when Tori went to Heaven and were immediately aware of the loud silence that filled our home.
When I woke up this morning our home was completely silent.
As it has been said before, silence is deafening.
It is difficult, because those machines helped keep Tori comfortable and reminded us that she was still alive.
But, more than anything, the silence is comforting.
It means that our Tori is no longer reliant on supplemental oxygen, suction machines, and other devices. She is KRABBE FREE. Her body is no longer being ravaged by this horrific disease.
As Brennan has said many times, we are inherently selfish humans so we never wanted to let her go. Yet, as parents, the most selfless thing we could do was allow her to go to Heaven as she did, where we KNOW we will see her again someday soon and spend eternity with her.
When Tori left us on Sunday, she couldn’t smile, talk, move, laugh, yawn, or even sneeze. She needed oxygen to function. She was broken.
Our hearts are so overwhelmed with joy at the knowledge that she can do ALL of these things and even more now that she is with Jesus.
Yesterday her brain and spinal cord were donated to the University of Pittsburgh to further their research of Krabbe.
Today we will take this dress and (a duplicate of) her buddy to the funeral home for them to dress her for the last time. We have chosen to not see her body again on this earth because she isn’t in it.
Our lives will never be the same, but we will continue to live as we did while Tori was with us – with purpose, with love, and with JOY.
We taught her to live with joy and love despite our circumstances, and we need to continue to live that way until we meet her again. It won’t be that long in the grand scheme of eternity. ❤️