This is Thirty-Eight

My birthday always coincides with the time most people spend reflecting on the previous year, so I get away with only reflecting once. 😉 This year has been one of surprises – both joyful and sad – and I’m a much different person because of it. My life is different today than it was 365 days ago. And, for the most part, I love the differences.

This year, I:

  • had so much precious time with Brennan and the boys.
  • grieved the loss of our two remaining embryos and learned to embrace being a family of just four (on earth).
  • learned who I can trust/respect, and, conversely, who I no longer can.
  • made new friends (and lost some longtime ones).
  • saw my Newborn Screening legislation signed into law, despite so many setbacks.
  • helped develop LDNBS.org – a site to help leukodystrophy advocates and organizations work better together as we continue our Newborn Screening efforts.
  • found ways to mentor other mamas who want to see change made in their states.
  • became a member of LCBC.
  • was on national television news prior to the election.
  • discovered how differently I now view partisanship and boldly wrote about it.
  • solved many “problems” in our home as we made it back into one house.
  • figured out how badly I cope with stress and am learning how to do that better.
  • learned to embrace my strengths and be proud of who I am, rather than only focusing on my flaws (Ennegram type 1 issue).
  • discovered how perfectionism has crippled me in so many ways and decided to stop fearing failure.
  • traveled less than probably any other year of my life and haven’t been home to California in a year.

Today I went to Starbucks for my favorite drink, donated blood, had a pedicure, enjoyed a dinner cooked by a chef friend (and creme brulee!), and spent time with my family. What a perfect day.

As I enter a new year (2021) and prepare to turn 39 in that same year, I have a couple of long-term goals, and those revolve around focusing on me, for once. Thanks to urging by my friend, Kimmery, I am starting to build habits that nurture my heart and mind, as well as taking care of my own physical needs. It’s challenging for mothers to do things for themselves, and I’ve definitely experienced that between Tori and the twins, but it’s time to do things for me. I know what I want my life to look like by the time I turn 40 and I’m taking small steps to work toward that.

I’m so grateful for the lessons of 2020 that happened during year thirty-seven for me. May these lessons continue to shape me and change the way I live my life and care for others.

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