Category: Wisdom

Guest Post: Receiving God’s Love

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Receiving God’s Love
 
By Sheri Rose Shepherd
Bestselling Author and Bible Life Coach
 
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Think how powerful it would be if we spoke the truth about how God feels about us at least as often as we silently said negative things about ourselves or replayed in our minds all the hurtful things that have been said about us. The truth is, we are not what others say about us, and if the men we love speak hurtful words to us that make us feel unworthy, we don’t need to repeat them any longer. Instead we can learn to rest in God’s unchanging love for us.

Even if no one has ever said anything kind to you, your Prince Jesus longs for you to breathe in the tender love, compassion, and kindness He feels for you. If you’re ready to have Jesus, the lover of your soul, become reality to you, I invite you to do the following . . .

Breathe In His Love . . .

For the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. (Job 33:4)

You know that feeling of exhilaration that sticks with you after you’ve spent time with a guy you know you’re falling in love with? As you part, you take a deep breath and feel waves of delight washing over you. Or you know the joy that wells up inside when your man unexpectedly says something so sweet that you feel treasured? You replay those words over and over in your mind because doing so gives you a lift.

Breathe His truth in; allow the words of your true prince Jesus to echo in your heart and soul.

After you consider God’s words to you—”I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3)—whisper toward heaven, “I love You, Lord.”

Sing about His Love . . .

Each day the LORD pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. (Psalm 42:8)

When I was learning to let myself receive God’s love, I would actually sing love songs to Him. Though they had been written for a woman to sing to a man here on earth, I began to understand that if I would crave God’s love first, He would meet my needs. Only then would I be able to give and receive love.

Today I love worship songs that sing of God’s love for us. I blare them throughout my house in the mornings so Satan will not be able to whisper lies to me any longer. Consider doing the same.

Write Love Letters to Him in a Journal . . .

Connect your heart to heaven by writing love letters to your Lord. It is amazing what happens to your heart as you begin to express your love in writing to the only One who will never walk away from or reject you. Hang on to this treasure of truth: how you feel about yourself will never change God’s love for you.

Let Us Pray . . .

Dear God,
I confess I do not feel worthy of your love. It is hard for me to believe that You even love me. Help me, Lord, to look to You for my worth. Forgive me for not allowing myself to receive Your love. Forgive me for looking to others to make me feel like I have value when You are the only one who can validate me and love me the way I long to be loved. From this day forward, I choose to let You love me so I can love others. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I will sing to the LORD as long as I live.
I will praise my God to my last breath!
May all my thoughts be pleasing to him,
for I rejoice in the LORD. (Psalm 104:33-34)

For more teaching from the Your Heart’s Desire book and Bible study, visit www.biblelifecoaching.com.

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Guest Post: “We Are on the Same Team and Fighting the Same Enemy”

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We Are on the Same Team and Fighting the Same Enemy
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)
 
By Sheri Rose Shepherd
Bestselling Author and Bible Life Coach
 
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Think about what makes your heart melt when you watch a great love story. It’s not the hero’s physical strength or his beloved’s beauty, is it? No, you and I are drawn to the power of true love and its inexplicable ability to prevail over tragedy and adversity. The greater the conflict, the stronger the love must be in order to resolve the issue. When the hero does whatever it takes to save the relationship, our hearts soar with renewed hope. Likewise, as we seek to truly listen and understand our men when differences between us create friction, we set ourselves up for more satisfying and loving relationships.

The Author of love and life and the Designer of our differences knew there would be conflict between men and women. The real problem comes, though, when we get accustomed to seeing relational problems solved in the time it takes to eat a bag of popcorn. Our hero and his beauty have less than two hours to defeat the dragons and overcome unspeakable challenges. You and I are not going to magically resolve deep relationship conflicts in our own wisdom and definitely not in less than two hours.

When I met my husband, Steve, I was sure we were a match made in heaven. In fact, we have had the privilege of being in ministry together for most of our marriage. I wish I could tell you it’s been an effortless, wonderful life for the two of us, but I would be lying to you.

I learned to fight loud and strong by watching my parents. My brother and I would hide together in my bedroom as our parents tore into each other during arguments, often screaming and throwing things. Because of my broken family, when I first got married I was sure that every conflict between me and Steve would end our marriage.

Steve was raised by parents who had stayed married, so it was impossible for him to relate to my fears and worries. He was raised in quieter surroundings. His parents dealt with conflict quite differently from mine. There was no rage. No yelling. No broken furniture. His parents rarely fought—and never in front of their children. But his family also had no system to resolve conflict. That meant issues went unresolved—though not unnoticed.

Steve’s and my fighting techniques were drastically different. However, neither of us had been equipped to deal appropriately with marital conflict. That led to major challenges early in our marriage whenever we attempted to resolve a disagreement. To make things even more difficult, when I married Steve I was a new Christian and had not yet learned how to channel my anger properly.

I tried everything to get him to react or resolve conflict with me, and as I waited, I became more bitter and he became more distant. One day I couldn’t take Steve’s calm, cool responses anymore. From my perspective, he obviously needed some lessons on how to fight for our marriage. I’d had enough of his “let’s work it out peacefully by ignoring our problems” act. In my mind, he was being polite only to annoy me.

“Why don’t you ever show some emotion and prove to me you care about our marriage?” I yelled.

Steve stood there quietly, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. Then suddenly, he turned toward the mirror on our bedroom closet door and kicked it as hard as he could, smashing it to bits.

Wow, I thought, what a performance. He sure learns fast.

Suddenly I began to laugh hysterically through my tears. I was so shocked I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or ready to run from what I saw. His toenail was jutting out at a bizarre angle as he asked me, “Is that enough emotion for you? If it would help, I could probably throw myself on the floor and work up a good cry.” We both began to laugh together as we attempted to pick up the glass fragments scattered all over our bedroom floor. In that moment I realized how much we had shattered each other just because we were different and had not been trained on how to resolve conflict. Our marriage was not the problem; it was our hearts. Neither of us had a teachable spirit.

It took several years, a lot of tears, and one expensive closet door mirror to repair the damage inflicted during those early years. We still have conflict, as all couples do, but we now understand that we are on the same team and that it’s okay not to agree on everything.

After twenty-five years of marriage, we’ve decided it’s worth letting go of the little things and fighting to understand one another. Conflict comes no matter who we marry. We may be fighting about different things with different men, but there will always be major differences between men and women. I once heard a pastor say that if spouses agreed on everything, only one of them would be needed. Let’s not allow our differences to divide us any longer!

For a sneak peek of Sheri Rose’s Your Heart’s Desire Group Experience, or to learn more about her ministry, visit www.biblelifecoaching.com.

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Guest Post: “Desiring a “Happily Ever After”: Fighting the Temptation to Give Up on Love and Marriage”

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I am so blessed to have the privilege of sharing the next few articles from author Sheri Rose Shepherd on my blog! She offers wisdom and encouragement that is biblically based and I will be posting articles from her over the next three weeks. If these apply to someone you know, please share the posts with him/her!

 
 

 
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Desiring a “Happily Ever After”
Fighting the Temptation to Give Up on Love and Marriage
 
By Sheri Rose Shepherd
Bestselling Author and Bible Life Coach
 Sheri Rose Shepherd
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I don’t know where you stand today with the man you love or loved—or if you are single, divorced, separated, or widowed. I can tell you, though, that if you’ve been hurt, you can be sure Your heavenly Father knows how hard it is to love and forgive the one who caused you pain. Yet regardless of the relational devastation you face, no one can keep you from finishing strong for God’s glory!I was raised in a non-Christian home. My parents have each been married and divorced to three different people. As part of several blended families, all I understood about marriage when I was growing up was “unhappily ever after.” But then I became a Christian at twenty-four and married my husband, Steve, just a few years later. Because of my love for God and my husband, I honestly didn’t think anything could shake my own marriage or faith.

In the summer of 2007, however, my happily ever after was wiped out and my faith was tested. The family foundation I had worked so hard to build and protect was almost destroyed, along with my ministry, in that season of my life. I truly believed that God had forsaken me.

I had just finished writing my book for mothers about raising sons to become godly husbands. As I excitedly ran upstairs to e-mail the manuscript to the publisher, I suddenly felt as if something dark hovered over me. My passion for the book’s message was drowned out by the fear of an attack from the enemy that could come against me and my family if I stepped on his territory . . . young men and their future marriages.

I called the publisher and said I’d need to wait and pray for courage before submitting the manuscript. I went to my son, Jake, who was eighteen years old and a senior in high school at the time, and asked him if he had any plans of rebelling against his faith once he graduated from high school. I told him I was willing to give him freedom to find his own faith in Christ, but I didn’t want to put out a book about raising boys if my own son was going to walk away from the Lord. He reassured me that he was strong in his faith and that he felt I should publish the book. I decided to take the chance to make a difference and sent in the manuscript.

The book began climbing the charts, and everything seemed to be going well. I even began speaking with my son at conferences for mothers of boys. Then three months into my book tour, my fear of attack hit. My husband had taken a job that we had both prayed for. This job appeared to be a blessing; however, his new position required him to violate some of the boundaries we had put in place to protect our marriage, and we ended up separated.

There I was in the public eye of ministry, fighting to save future marriages, and somehow my own marriage was falling apart. My son was devastated by the division between me and his dad. It was too hard for him to deal with all his confusion, pain, and anger, so he took a break from his faith and began using drugs and alcohol to comfort himself. I had always known to run to God for cover when there was a great attack, but now I felt like He had left me alone on the battlefield to fight for myself. It appeared that all I had believed about God and all my effort to build a strong foundation for my own family had been shattered. My pain, my shame, and my life were an embarrassment. I felt as if I were battling an out-of-control fire that would burn up everything I loved and lived for. Every night I would cry myself to sleep as I struggled to understand why God had not protected me while I was attempting to accomplish something for His glory.

One night I could not take it anymore, so I fell to my knees and told God I either wanted Him to fix my family or I wanted to quit the ministry. Then I felt the Lord asking me a bigger question: Was My life, given on a cross for you, not enough for you to finish strong even if it means surrendering the life you wanted? For the first time I realized that my heart’s true desire was to feel loved and secure, and yet no man on earth could love me the way my Lord does. In that moment of crisis I found the true meaning of following Christ. God had not forsaken me, but He did want to free me from depending on others to give me my happily ever after.

That night I gave my heart’s deepest desire to God and chose to follow Him at any cost. In exchange, He gave me something so much better; He gave me peace that was more powerful than my circumstances. My faith was no longer in people; it was in Christ alone. Although nothing outwardly had changed yet, I had been changed. Today, Steve and I have celebrated twenty-five years of marriage, and our son serves God with His whole heart. He and his bride have given us our first grandbaby girl. However, to be honest, restoring our marriage was excruciatingly painful and more difficult than either of us expected. As hard as this trial was, it taught me a valuable lesson: our Lord is the God of comfort and the author of a new beginning. He can and will rebuild a beautiful life out of any broken heart willing to make a change. He will use one sacrificial choice; one act of forgiveness; one sincere, repentant heart; and one woman who is willing to step out in faith and start rebuilding with His love for His glory.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121:1-2)

For more teaching from the Your Heart’s Desire book and Bible study, visit www.biblelifecoaching.com.

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Living with Intentionality…

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2011 is our year of living with intentionality…

I have set many personal goals for the year (NOT “resolutions”), and many of them tie in with Proverbs 31. Yes, like many, I am also going to focus on being more in shape this year, but that’s because I’m walking 60 miles in three days in October, and must train in order to survive! More importantly, I am striving to be the best wife to Brennan that I can be…to love him like he deserves to be loved. 🙂 Because I’m an organized person, I needed to map out what that would look like in terms of goals. So, I made a list, and I am working hard to become more Christ-like in everything I do, especially when it comes to my husband.

As a couple, we also set a few goals…

We are being very intentional about spending time with certain friends and family members, recognizing that in the past year we often let months go by without seeing them. This also includes an intentionality of time together as a couple, because we recognize the need to continually invest in our marriage.

We are being very intentional about living frugally, in an effort to be debt-free. As of now, we will be debt-free as of September 2012 at the latest, and we are running toward that goal with “gazelle intensity”, as Dave Ramsey says. 🙂 This is playing out in our lives in different ways: budgeting every dollar (like Dave Ramsey says to do), seeking extra income, planning out meals and using programs such as the Angel Food Ministry to save on groceries (and COUPONS!), and making little sacrifices along the way (“Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else!” –Dave Ramsey) because we recognize that being debt-free is a far better achievement than the things we might choose to spend money on now.  Once we are debt-free, we will hopefully buy a home and start a family. That’s our plan, but God may have other plans, and that’s okay, too!

We are being intentional about serving others and serving our community. I am still the “Community Project Coordinator” for our church(es), but that’s the only church responsibility I hold now (after stepping down from worship team for a MUCH needed break after doing it every Sunday for two years–plus practice every Saturday morning). This will allow me to spend more time seeking projects to benefit our neighbors and to demonstrate the Kingdom of God in Harrisburg, PA. We are still involved in a church plant (The Well at East Shore), and are praying about becoming involved in another one later this year. Wherever God leads…

We have really simplified our lives, cutting out things (even “good things”, like church activities) that were making us “busy”, and that were keeping us from clear ministry opportunities that God was putting in our lives. There are people in our lives that desperately need the love of Jesus, and we were too busy to notice until now. So, now we are being intentional (there’s that word again! 🙂 ) about investing in those people…

2011 is going to be a great year…and we are open to whatever God brings our way!

*Side note on the Angel Food Ministry program: they offer amazing deals on food that is perfectly good–not expired or bad quality, as some assume–and it’s open to anyone of any income! We ordered two boxes of food/fruits/vegetables for a total of $68, and one lady figured out that the $41 box is worth $120! I figured out that the fruit/veggie box ($23) is worth close to $50! Best part is that once I sat down and created a menu for the month of February using the food in the boxes, I was able to get 15 meals out of all that food (for two people), with only having to buy a few items at the store to supplement the meals. We are SO excited to be living frugally, supporting  a ministry, AND still eating good, healthy meals in the process!

Thoughts on dating, marriage, and purity…

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She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. –Proverbs 31:12

This is to my single friends, hopefully as an encouragement…

I am married…it’s still hard to believe! For years I wondered whether or not I would ever get married, whether or not that was truly God’s plan for my life. From early on, I had decided to let God write my love story, because I learned the hard way that Satan likes to use boys to hurt girls emotionally (and vice-a-versa, of course), and I am still dealing with some of those scars today. I rarely “dated” boys as a result of my experiences and my decision to let God be in control, and was truly content for a majority of my college career—until all my friends started getting married.

As I attended wedding after wedding, and as I watched my closest friends move into a new phase of life (one that I deeply desired), I made a decision to follow and trust Him instead of worrying and stressing—figuring that He knows me better than I know myself, and knowing that life is better when we do things His way. I read in Proverbs 31:12 that the woman described brought good and not harm to her husband ALL the days of her life—which means even before she knew him! What a challenge that verse presents…but I decided to do my best to achieve that goal.

I kept one secret from Brennan until we were 10 days away from getting married, but it was for a good reason. In 2002, while on a porch in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, I began writing letters to my future husband in a little journal, not knowing that he was so close to me! I wrote with the intent of giving it to him right before the wedding. This journal contains great memories and many special notes, including one entry on July 14th (five days before we officially started dating) that simply said that I knew I was going to marry him—because I did! I kept a timeline and notes about our relationship, things that we will laugh about in the future and will want to remember for years.

I gave that journal to Brennan the day before I left for California (for our wedding), and was SO excited for him to read my prayers for him, for us, and all the other treasures those letters contain. Eight years of praying for him, writing to him, most of which before I even knew his name.  Eight years of wondering, of searching, of aching for the love that I now know.

Writing those letters helped me maintain my focus on purity and on “not settling” for any guy that came along. Sure, I wondered every time I met a new guy, “could this be him?” But none really seemed right. And, honestly, God really protected me all those years, because it was rare for a guy to express interest in me. My focus remained solid: I sought to know the Lord, to keep myself pure, and to serve Him wherever He led.

When God led me to move to Pennsylvania from sunny Southern California, so many people asked me if it was for a guy. I honestly was able to say no…but, of course, a hope existed in my heart that I would meet my “Prince Charming” and finally find true love.  I moved, began to build friendships, went on a few blind dates (most of which were laughably terrible), and found an incredible church. It was in this church that I began to find my “place” in Pennsylvania—as this is my mission field. This is where God called me in 2002 and 2003 to serve, and this is where He called me in 2008 to live. I started a singles’ ministry at my church, as it was truly needed (the irony is that I met my husband one week before the class started). That same month, I became part of a team that would plant a church in Harrisburg that fall. God was clearly using my talents and abilities for His purposes and glory, and I was so content!

I began to realize that my singleness all those years was never a mistake—I was able to devote so much time to serving the Lord without distraction, including the ability to lead a month-long mission trip to New Orleans and fully devote myself to our mission there. Had I been in a relationship, those things would have been much more difficult. God had specific plans for me through all my years of singleness, and I don’t regret a single moment!

Now, about 500 days after meeting Brennan, I am married…I am beyond happy to have someone with whom I can serve the Lord just as passionately as before, but now I have a teammate…a partner…someone to support and to be supported by…and I love it. But, had I not obeyed the Lord in faith, where would I be today? Had he not obeyed and trusted the Lord, where would he be today?

For those who are single and longing for marriage, please consider what I have to say (especially teenagers/college-aged friends): Keep yourself pure! Don’t give into temptation to satisfy your desires, and don’t let the world influence you. I know it’s tough, but the fact that Brennan and I remained completely pure has brought an incredible dimension to our marriage already! We don’t have the baggage that comes from past physical relationships, which gives us such a sense of freedom with each other. Even as our wedding approached, we refused to give into the temptation to not go home at night, knowing that it would make marriage even sweeter because we no longer have to say “goodnight” and depart.

God has very good reasons for the “rules” that He makes—especially for purity until marriage. Don’t give up a piece of your heart to someone who isn’t your husband/wife!  You can never get it back, and it will always haunt you. And, really, is it worth the future pain and heartache for today’s desire?

In my opinion, this goes for modesty, too. I truly believe that modesty is not outdated, and it is not “prudish”. It is a way to show respect for your future husband before you even know him! He is the only one who deserves to see your body, and you are showing love to him “all of your days”by being modest in how you dress (Proverbs 31:12—“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”).  I don’t believe that you can go too far in bringing respect to your future husband NOW, even when you don’t know who he is. I believe this glorifies God, as well, as you honor His guidelines.

As someone who has lived out what she now says, I pray that you will obey the Lord and remain completely pure for your husband. It is truly the best gift that you can ever give to him, and he deserves your BEST.

“Love is Life”

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Leo Tolstoy once said:

 

“Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

 

My relationship with God is the most important aspect of my life. This relationship has led me to spend two summers in full-time ministry in Williamsport, Pennsylvania (where I will most likely be moving next year)…it has led to countless hours in youth work, worship ministry, etc. But most importantly, this relationship has shaped who I am and all that I strive to be.

Lately, due to many extenuating circumstances, my time with God has taken a backseat to everything else going on in my life. Last night, as I sat alone in my apartment, I decided to spend time with my Maker…and I did. I spent 2 hours praying, singing, reading, etc., which made me realize how much I have missed this time with Him. This post is a reflection of what I learned last night, because this is going to change many aspects of my life over the next few months.

 

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” –Nehemiah 8:10

 

My strength, my joy, my serenity comes from the Lord. I have never been content with the ways of this world. Yet, lately, I haven’t been seeking my refuge in the arms of the Lord as I used to…and this needs to change. For, as MercyMe so eloquently put it,

 

“I have not been called to the wisdom of this world but to a God who’s calling out to me. And even though the world may think I’m losing touch with reality, it would be crazy to choose this world over eternity.”

What really matters in life? What is worth living for?

Love.

“Healer heal me

Savior save me

Maker change me

Lover love me

‘Cause I’m so tired of living for

The kind of love

That only lasts for a while

The pain, the shame

Tear me up inside

So I fall on my knees

To get back on my feet again

And I cry out for You

Would You please speak to me…”–Ten Shekel Shirt

Love is the most important thing. Not the kind of love that is fleeting, but the love that is eternal. Jesus told us that the greatest commandment is to love God with all we are and have, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Is there anything more important in life?

1 John tells us that because God first loved us, we can more fully love. If I am relying on the love of my Lord for my strength and for my fulfillment, then I am able to love freely, without worrying about what I will get in return. I will be able to care for my neighbors, for those in need. And, when I love this way, God gives us life abundantly.

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard–things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshall and direct our energies wisely.”

–Galatians 5:22-23 (The Message)

Love is life…love is everything. And I want to love more…more freely…more abundantly…I want to fully embrace the “greatest commandment”, for that is all that really matters in life. I want to live unapologetically, and how better to do that than to serve God with all that I am?

I don’t know how this is going to play out in my life practically, but I know that I have decided to once more live as my Lord has called me to live, which is to love.

“He’s everything to me, more than a story…”