In the midst of my theology research, I came across this paraphrase of the 23rd Psalm, and I thought it was quite appropriate for most college students:

The Joy of Coffee

(A Psalm 23 Paraphrase)

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.

It maketh me to wake in green pastures:

it leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.

It restoreth my buzz:

it leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,

I will fear no Equal ™: for thou art with me;

thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.

Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of Juan Valdez:

thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.

Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the House of Starbuck’s for ever.

–author unknown