Things in my life are changing, for the better…God is definitely working in my heart in some amazing and yet difficult ways, and I am so relieved, in a sense, because I’ve been in a spiritual low for over two years now…but things are starting to make sense, and I am finding that my love and passion for the Lord is returning in new and fresh ways, ways that are surprising me daily.

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately…about this blog, for one. I remember when my posts used to be so filled with “brilliant” thoughts and reflections, and it seems like I used to be learning and thinking about new things all the time. For instance, this post, from Sept. 2004:

Our discussion on Plato continued today in my Classical Political Thought class…

And one thing stood out to me in particular as being applicable to the Christian walk.

In Book III, the men are discussing censorship, and what should be allowed in education. They point out that the things you teach your children will indicate what kind of adults they will be. The tales you tell them will stick with them always. And concerning heroes, they note that people should try to imitate the right heroes.

My professor stated that: “It’s hard to return to who you once were after you have been filled with imitations of others…”

Shouldn’t we, then, as Christians, strive to imitate Christ so much that we forget who we once were? And, shouldn’t we teach our children–not only in word, but by example as well–the ways of Christ, so that these things are deeply implanted within them?

Or this post. Or any of the posts from 2004, really. If nothing else, college was great for blogging purposes, because my mind was always engaged and always being challenged…and I was constantly engaging God and communicating with Him. But it was at that point that He decided to begin stretching and changing me, making me who I am today. It is exciting as I begin to figure out who I am, how I’ve changed, and what I’m going to do with it in the future.

Another thing upon which I have been reflecting is the obvious thing: September 11th, 2001. Ananda and I went to see “World Trade Center” today in the theatre, as we thought it was time to see it. It was incredible…of course, it was emotional, but it also caused us to see the events of that day in an entirely new perspective. It had not occurred to me that those who were on the ground that day, those who were working to rescue the people in the buildings, had no idea what was going on. They didn’t have televisions with reporters speculating as to what had crashed into the buildings…in fact, these men in the movie didn’t even know that the second tower had been hit. When they were rescued, after being trapped for around 24 hours, they were asking where the buildings were. They had no idea what had happened that day! What a shock that must have been! It was an emotional look at the tragedy of that day, and I am so glad that I saw the film.

Yesterday, I finished a book that I can honestly say has changed my life, and that is no exaggeration. It is called “The Heavenly Man” and it is by the man that I have mentioned in earlier posts, Brother Yun. Oh my goodness, has this challenged me! I have such a passion for missions in lands like China, Tunisia, and other countries which are not open to the Gospel of Christ. I do not know what the Lord is going to do with this passion, but I know that it continues to grow, and I am looking forward to serving the Lord in whatever capacity He allows! 🙂

Life is good… 🙂

 
 
 
  

  

“We won’t catch fish in a kitchen sink–we must go where they are.”

Amen…

I’m home, after a weekend in Red Bluff. My friend Lisa got married, and it was a beautiful wedding! 🙂 Lots of family time, and of course, I had the “privilege” of going through more of my stuff that still resides at my parents’ house. 🙂 LOL.

It’s going to be a very busy week, but a great one. 🙂 Time to get rested up so that I can take it on.

I’m watching a 9/11 documentary, and it is amazing how much emotion this still evokes!!

However, I have one (lighter) question:

I wonder if the phone companies who run the phone service on airplanes waived the charges for the people who made calls on those 4 planes involved in the 9/11 attacks…

It seems like they would have, because that would be a gracious and compassionate thing to do (though small)…but I don’t know if they did.

Any insight?

I feel like I have changed more in the past two months than in the past five years…and yet I cannot describe the change at all. I just know that I am seeing the world differently, I am living out my faith differently…not drastically differently, but it’s like my faith is more real, more tangible, less emotional…

The major thing has been about “love”–Jesus says that the world will know that we are His disciples by our love, and that is something that is vastly forgotten, I feel, in the Church today…

I cannot describe the changes inside of me, but I feel their presence each day…and it is exciting to me, as I feel that I am finally discovering “who I am”…:)

For the first time ever, I watched the Emmy’s tonight…just to see Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) and 24 win awards…and they DID! 24 beat Grey’s Anatomy for Best Drama, and Kiefer Sutherland won Best Lead Actor in a Drama (my titles, not the official ones).

Woo hoo! 🙂

Wow!!

My friend Jessica and I decided this week that we were going to travel down to Lake Forest and go to Saddleback Valley Community Church today (otherwise known as Saddleback). This church is the largest Southern Baptist church in the Western U.S. and has approx. 25,000 members. I have always been curious to see how a church that large functions, so we decided to go.

It was amazing! The speaker today was a man named Brother Yun (pronounced Yoon), and he is a Chinese man who was involved with the underground church in China for a long time. He was imprisoned over 30 times, tortured a great deal, had both of his legs shattered–yet never ceased preaching the Gospel. His story is told in this book, titled “The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun.”

The most amazing story that he told was this: during one of his times in prison, he was complaining to God about his agony (his legs had just been broken/shattered) and he was angry because he wasn’t able to preach the Gospel. During this time, one of the underground churches was praying and fasting, and they all heard a voice say “Behold, I stand at the door and knock…” but no one was at the door. This happened repeatedly, and then they realized that Brother Yun was going to be set free.

Brother Yun was in his cell, when he very clearly saw/heard Jesus come into the cell and He told Brother Yun to get up and walk out of the cell. He didn’t do it at first, because he didn’t think he could do it. But he stood up, and walked (with broken legs), and the cell doors opened. He walked as fast as he could, and when he was outside the prison doors, there was a taxi waiting out there. As they were driving, and Brother Yun had no idea where to go, they drove by a building that he recognized–the home of the underground church that was praying for him.

While he had been complaining to God about his misery, God was preparing a safe house for him…God is able to open ANY gates, ANY doors…it just takes faith.

It was an amazing story, and I bought his book. I cannot wait to read it! When we were in Tunisia and were able to meet people who faced persecution almost daily, it was so humbling, and yet it renewed and strengthened my spirit, because I knew that they had an unshakable faith, and I want to be like that. This man has faith that can move mountains–but it didn’t come easily.

Am I truly ready for what it takes to obtain faith that strong?

It was an incredible service, at an amazing church…a church totally focused on spiritual growth (more through small groups than anything) and serving Jesus.

We ended our adventure by going to Disneyland and riding the new “Pirates of the Caribbean” because we could. 🙂 Now it’s time to bake, and ponder the message from today…

[Update: At the end, he said that it is in the most impossible situations, when men cannot minister, that God works miracles far beyond our imagination…and out of all the people groups he could have mentioned, he only talked about the Muslim people…and it brought up such emotion in me! I think I’m going to Tunisia next summer, if God so wills…]

I wouldn’t normally post something like this on my blog, but I am hoping this will provide some accountability and that I will stick with this goal!

By December 31st, 2006 I want to lose 30 lbs. I am going to have to work hard to accomplish this goal, but it is something that I want to do!

So, this goal starts tomorrow, officially. 🙂 Let’s pray I can stick with this goal! I have 127 days to accomplish this goal…