I came across some interesting and noteworthy blogs and sites today that I wanted to share with you all.

First of all, Brian McLaren, author of “A New Kind of Christian.” This book is well worth the read, but read it with caution: you can’t help but be changed by this book! I know that I read it not expecting much to change, but it presented many challenges and many profound insights that I could not help but ponder.

Second, I found this blog, by a Canadian named Mike Todd, and it is a fascinating blog by a “post-modern Christian.” He offers insights and reflections that inspire thought from each reader.

And finally, this blog, by a “Post-Modern Pilgrim” is another very insightful blog.

These are all worth the read! I know I will be reading these often, as I am on my own journey of exploration into the world of post-modernism.

I try to keep these posts to one a day, but I just checked my mailbox and I received a letter from myself, written at ASP, and I wanted to share some of it.

During our last worship service, on December 1st, the worship team (which I was a part of) decided to have everyone write letters to themselves about what we had learned, what we had experienced, etc. The letters would be mailed out a few months later, when we had forgotten about them. Sure enough, I had completely forgotten about this letter.

“Wow…what to say…I have learned SO much this semester, and I cannot condense it into one letter…nor can I express it in words adequately.

I’ve learned–

* that friends are more important than politics

* that political views do not make me who I am

* that who I am shapes my political views

* that asking can get you places

* that my family is wonderful

* that it is okay to have no idea what I’ll be doing after graduation

* that God truly prepares my path, and He leads me everyday

* that even in the little things, God is in control

* that testing of your faith comes all the time, in numerous forms

* that you cannot judge a person’s spirituality by the words they use

* that friends are made often with those you would least expect

* that everyone has gifts, talents, passions for a reason, and each should be respected.

* who my “real” friends are…”

Of course these are not the only things I learned while in the American Studies Program. Everyday I am reminded of the lessons we learned and experienced there…shalom…justice…Biblical worldview…etc. But these are the things that have a great impact on my daily life and on my personal encounters along this journey. I just wanted to share, as I now have a great deal upon which to reflect regarding my semester in Washington, D.C.

In my small group, we are reading a book by Henry Blackaby called “Holiness”. Yesterday we discussed how our society has lost its “fear” of God (not meaning to be afraid, but rather to respect, obey, etc.) and how we do not view sin as God views it. And it really hit me that this is apparent in my own life, and that holiness is something worth striving for…but I don’t do it…

I fail, everyday, and I forget that my relationship with God is not one-sided…I often take it for granted that God will be there for me always, and often I don’t seek Him because of His constant availability.

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.” –Romans 7:18-19

I justify so many things in my life, convincing myself that they are “okay” because everyone else is doing it…or I compare myself to others and think that I must be okay because I am doing better than someone else…and that is not right.

Yet again, Caedmon’s Call has a song that speaks exactly what my heart is feeling.

“Sometimes I believe all the lies so I can do the things I should despise,

and everyday I am swayed by whatever is on my mind.

I hear it all depends on my faith so I’m feeling precarious.

The only problem I have with these mysteries is they’re so mysterious.

And like a consumer I keep thinking if I can just get a bit more

more than my fifteen minutes of faith then I’ll be secure.

My faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave.

My faith is like shifting sand, so I’ll stand on grace.

I begged you for some proof for my Thomas eyes to see–

slithering staff, a leprous hand, or lions resting lazily,

a glimpse of your backside glory and this soaked altar going ablaze;

but you know I’ve seen so much I explain it away.

Waters rose as my doubts rain, sand castle faith is slipped away.

I find myself standing on your grace, you’ve been there all the time.

My faith is like shifting sand, changed by every wave.

My faith is like shifting sand, so I’ll stand on grace.”

–Caedmon’s Call, from the album “Forty Acres”

As I have been so often reminded this week, it’s not about me…it’s not about what I do, what I say or think…it needs to be about God, living in me and through me…

Please understand that when I write about these kinds of things, I am not trying to preach…I am not implying that anyone else needs to feel as I do about these spiritual issues. I am not trying to thrust my theology upon anyone. I feel that a blog is a way to express personal struggles, to seek advice, and to be real with people. And I am sorry if in the past it has come across as me trying to put a guilt trip on my readers or anything like that. These are just the honest ponderings of my heart, things with which I am daily struggling, and I want to be open with those who read my blog as I process my thoughts through writing. Thank you for reading!

Stuart and Lesa at the Reagan Ranch, March 2004.
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My brother is now officially an alumnus of Red Bluff High School…wow, I cannot believe he is old enough to be out of high school. He will officially be an “adult” next week as well.

The weather was perfect for graduation night. We had a family dinner before the ceremony, which was fun–as always. We had homemade ice cream (as we do at nearly every family gathering) and a great time. I can’t wait for my family reunion in a month!

At graduation, I was waiting for some family members to arrive, and as I waited I began to see people that I have not seen in 3 or more years. I saw beloved teachers, friends, and even a few people I never wanted to see again…but each encounter was pleasant. It was like a mini-reunion, as many of my classmates have siblings who are my brother’s age. Small towns do have their advantages, I suppose: You always see someone you know…that can also be a bad thing, but mostly good.

But last night brought the most unexpected reunion! My mom and grandma and I spent the afternoon in Old Sacramento, walking around the shops, eating dinner, etc. They dropped me off in Sacramento, at the airport, later on and as I was getting my luggage out of the car I noticed a tall, blonde young man looking at me. I looked up, and it was a friend of mine from high school that I dated for awhile. It was so awesome to talk to him for 20 or so minutes. How random! He had dropped his mom off at the airport, just as I was getting there. It made my day…

So my quick trip home ended up being a very good one.

I went to the doctor on Thursday, and they ended up doing blood work to check some things. No real concern–mostly just precautionary. They didn’t do a scratch test for various reasons–which is good because my sunburn is STILL red (and peeling now) a week later…:)

Random question that I’d like you all to comment on. My family and I were discussing this, among other things, this week, and I thought it was an interesting question that no one will ever know the answer to. We came up with no answer, of course, but it is something to ponder. (Michael said that he is going to humiliate me on his blog for this question, so I thought I’d ask before he posts!)

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you think that Reagan’s body was in the casket?

Let me know what you think!

At home, having fun. Little bro graduated tonight. More on that later.

Wanted to post a link to my piece about Reagan that was on Cameron’s blog. It’s about my experience at the Reagan Ranch. 🙂

Today is Wednesday–and this is my “favorite” day of the week for some reason. I know that it began my freshman year, because most of my classes were Monday & Tuesday, with 2 on Wednesday and one on Thursday…so by the time Wednesday rolled around, my week was done. 🙂 But it still is just a day to which I look forward, for some reason.

I found this piece that I thought might be of interest. Congressman James Rogan of California shares his first encounter with then Governor Reagan in 1973: “How I Ruined Ronald Reagan’s Day (And How He Made Mine)”

I am flying home today, so I’ll be taking a break from the blog until I return from my trip. Tomorrow’s the big day for my brother! I hope that he is able to figure out soon what he wants to do with the rest of his life, because he is really unsure right now, and I know that is rough.

Yesterday was a rough day, health-wise, but I made some really good discoveries in other aspects of my life that are making everything clearer. I know that is vague, and perhaps I’ll share in the future, but perhaps not. Just know that I am realizing the effects of things and people in my past–and how they affect my present and future.

Today is my best-friend’s 21st birthday! Happy Birthday Bethany! (I don’t think she reads the blog, but just in case :)) We’ve been best-friends for about 15 years now…and I look forward to many more.

Have a great couple of days–and I’ll be back soon. 🙂

Okay, people amaze me sometimes. I came across this website today, The Brick Testament, which tells Bible stories with Legos…and though I have yet to look through all the stories, the ones I have seen are beautiful! They use scripture in every scene, and it is so creative. Amazing. Anyway, check it out. I’ve only seen the Garden of Eden and the Flood so far, but it is worth your time!

Just found this and thought it was fascinating…gas isn’t the only thing that has risen in price, but it has blinded us to the raised cost of other goods and services.

 Goods and services rising the most so far in 2004

Item	Annualized price change
Motor fuels other than gasoline (diesel, etc.)	62.7%
Gasoline	58.1
Butter & margarine	47.2
Motor vehicle fees (license & registration)	32.4
Delivery service	22.7
Fuel oil & other fuel	18.4
Apples	16.6
Women’s suits & separates	16.2
Airline fares	13.0
Utilities (gas service)	12.6
Other fats & oils including peanut butter	12.3
Audio discs & tapes	11.5
Hotels & motels	11.0
Indoor plants & flowers	10.9
Boy’s apparel	10.5
Household item repair	9.5
College tuition & fees	9.3
Bikes and other sports vehicles	9.1
Legal services	8.9
Men’s shirts & sweaters	8.8
Jewelry	8.8
Pets & pet products	8.8
Eggs	8.7
Jewelry & watches	8.3
Cheese & related products	8.1

Data: January Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

I forgot to mention that I discovered yesterday that former President Reagan had four honorary doctorate degrees, and one of them was from (what was then known as) Azusa Pacific College in May 1973–while he was governor of California. How awesome is that to know that he not only spoke at the commencement of a then very small college, but to also know that he had an honorary doctorate from here…that made me smile. 🙂

I woke up this morning–after getting about 5 hours of sleep this time, which is an improvement from the past few nights–in so much pain that I nearly cried. The whole morning thus far has been excruciating–and I have a very high pain tolerance. A lady at work today was helping me put aloe vera on my back, and she gasped when she saw my burn, and said that it’s one of the worst she has ever seen. I am definitely lucky to not be blistering, or peeling, at all yet.

Let’s just say that Lesa has learned this lesson well!! This pain is so much harder to handle than any of my long-lasting arm pain (radial nerve damage) or anything else I’ve dealt with…and it’s my own fault!

Anyway, I only say all of this to hopefully prevent any of you from suffering from the same mistake I made. Wear sunscreen!!

Last night I had my Bible study group, and it was a wonderful experience. We have left Ecclesiastes for awhile, and have begun a study of Acts. We decided to do this because (1) it is always good to learn Church History–and it doesn’t get “old” even after having classes on it! and (2) because of the book “The DaVinci Code”, which I have yet to read. Our church is having a second discussion with a book club in Glendora on this book, and about the ways that the book tries to (poorly) prove that Christianity is false. There is also a movie coming out about this book next summer, so we want to be prepared for any questions that might arise from our friends and family.

Our group is so insightful because of the various backgrounds we have there. I go to APU, where I have had several Bible classes, and I have also been in church my entire life. We have a man from Fuller Theological Seminary; a man from UC Riverside; a woman from UCLA; two teachers who have had Bible classes as well; and three or more who have had no formal Bible training. We use several versions of the Bible, including the Knox translation from the Greek, which is regarded to be the most accurate translation from the Greek. It is a great time each week for in-depth discussions and great fellowship.

On another note, I feel that I need to clarify something: My short, not in-depth post about material things being unnecessary, etc. has been misunderstood, so I want to quickly clarify.

I am NOT planning, hoping, trying, wishing, to move away to the jungle and leave everything behind. That has never been a realistic thought in my heart or mind! After graduation, I still feel led to move to Williamsport, Pennsylvania, to minister there, as well as to prepare for my eventual move to the District–Lord willing. Though to some Californians, Pennsylvania is a foreign land with “jungle” like conditions, it is not a jungle…and I’m not going to become Amish.

I was merely sharing my realization that our lives are not made more full by these things, by all this stuff we acquire…and I have been realizing how when I personally want more money, or more things, it causes a lot of other things to happen, such as worry, selfishness, etc., which are not good things.

Perhaps I should have mentioned more from Ecclesiastes–where the wisest man who ever lived tells us that in all his life, in his journeys, in his quest for happiness, he realized that if God is not glorified in what we do, it is meaningless. He was the richest man who ever lived, most likely, and yet he was not happy because of his money (see Ecclesiastes 1-3, primarily). Don’t you think that counts for something? In my mind it does, and in my own life I am seeing how his wisdom could be heeded and applied.

If you look at the majority of Americans today, they are not content. It’s just a fact! Our culture and society have trained us that we must have lots of stuff in order to be happy…and we always must “keep up with the Joneses” and acquire more “stuff”…

…and all I was saying is that I do not believe that to be true by any means. I am not happy because I own two computers, I am not happy because I own over 200 books…not at all…

Why am I happy?

Because I try to live life to the fullest, and I try to glorify God in all that I do.

I am happy because I believe that God is guiding me down this path and that He will take care of me, if I will trust and obey Him.

I am happy because I have been blessed with a great family and many amazing friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin.

I am happy when I use the gifts, talents and abilities with which the Lord has blessed me for His glory.

I am happy when I can make someone else happy, or when I can encourage them in even little ways.

That is what I was saying–though I didn’t delve into the topic at all. I hope this makes more sense, and I am truly sorry for the inadequate post that was easily misconstrued.

As always, I welcome your thoughts, comments, questions regarding any post. 🙂

“I thought in my heart, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.’ But that also proved to be meaningless…I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives. I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them…I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces…I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me…I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure…Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun…”

“A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness…”

–Ecclesiastes 2:1,3-5,8-10,11, 24-26a.