Day Five: I’m Thankful For…Church Family

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Preface: Last year I decided to express my thanks during the month of November for something new each day, as so many others have done before me. I never finished this series, so that’s my goal this year. I am re-posting the ones I wrote last year and adding new ones. This was originally posted on 11/05/12 (with slight changes made today).

I have made two major moves in my life: the first was from Northern to Southern California (523 miles) for college in 2001; the second was from Southern California to Pennsylvania (3,000 miles) in 2008. Both moves were significant landmarks in my life, and both placed me far from my family, friends and comfort zone.

However, God is eternally faithful and He has continually brought me “church family” to take care of me, befriend me, and love me.

Within my first month of college, I found the First Baptist Church of Glendora and the friendships made there still stand strong today. The bond that I have with so many people there will last forever and I am so thankful for God’s leading! I know that I still have “family” in Glendora. I was so blessed to be surrounded by like-minded musicians and we made some incredible music together. I was surrounded by friends my age who were seeking to know Jesus more and more and they sharpened me. They encouraged me. They were sad to see me move in 2008 but recognized God’s hand in the journey and supported me all the way. I love them dearly.

Within my first month of moving to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, I found East Shore Baptist Church. From the first time I walked through those doors until now, I felt welcomed and loved. As soon as people discovered how far I had come and how far my family was from me, they stepped in and took care of me. They supported and encouraged me. They helped me find a husband 😉 (haha). When I lost my job, they ensured that I was fed and taken care of. One Sunday I found $200 in my Bible–which was exactly what I needed to finish paying my rent for the month. I have no idea who blessed me that day, but I am SO thankful.

The pastors allowed me to begin a ministry to the singles in the church (which is, ironically, where I became acquainted with Brennan) as this was a large people group within the church that was not being served. They encouraged me to use my gifts for the good of the body (even when it was uncomfortable–like playing guitar for worship…which I did every Sunday, two services, for two years and do all the time now) and never discouraged me from following God’s leading.

They allowed me to be on the leadership team for an amazing church plant called The Well at East Shore. I was the “Community Projects Coordinator” and was able to live out two of my passions: missions and serving. I planned community service projects for our church that we did the third Thursday of every month (that’s the night we met in order to reach those who can’t or won’t go to church on Sundays)…we chose to go BE the church on those nights instead of just sitting in church every week. It was a powerful way to be the hands and feet of Jesus to our community.

We eventually felt led to discontinue The Well, but God definitely had plans for our little church plant: It was through The Well that I met the Morrisons and the Shays. They came up from North Carolina to see Harrisburg in March 2010 as they were praying about where to plant a church. I helped show them around Harrisburg and we were able to show them where we were seeing God at work–EVERYWHERE! They felt led to come join God in the great work He is doing here and moved here in 2011. Brennan and I are now part of the church that they planted, Redeeming Grace Church, and they have become such a wonderful blessing to our lives. Redeeming Grace has brought us another wonderful church family and we are so blessed to call RGC our church home.

God has proven His love to me in so many ways, but this is one of the greatest: wherever He has called me to go, He has brought people alongside me who love and encourage me, and I love and encourage them as well. He is so faithful to care for us!

Thank you, Jesus, for providing amazing Christians who become family to me wherever I go…

Day Four: I’m Thankful For…My Talents

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Preface: Last year I decided to express my thanks during the month of November for something new each day, as so many others have done before me. I never finished this series, so that’s my goal this year. I am re-posting the ones I wrote last year and adding new ones. This was originally posted on 11/04/12 (with slight changes made today).

I am so thankful for the talents with which the Lord has blessed me. They enrich my life greatly, bring immense joy, and they shape how I experience the world. I am thankful for the people the Lord has placed in my life to help me refine these talents and become even better in these areas. He gets all the credit!

I am especially thankful for my musical ability and my photography skills.

He blessed me with the ability to pick up any instrument (seven) and learn how to play it (often teaching myself)…I have nearly perfect pitch and that has proved to be a wonderful gift through the years. He has also given me a powerful voice to use for His glory…and that how I strive to use it. I love being able to lead others in the music portion of a worship service, knowing that I am pointing them to the Sovereign God who has created all things…truly, all of the glory and honor goes to Him. I can do nothing on my own!

I also love singing the National Anthem at sporting events–it is such a huge thrill and I love the feeling of having 10,000 people cheering 😉 (the link is from four years ago–it’s the most recent recording I have). This is my fifth season singing for the Hershey Bears and I am so honored to have the privilege of singing there.

God has given me an eye for photography that I am able to use to convey powerful messages and to inspire action (Haiti). He also has allowed me to use photography to capture His creation for others to enjoy. I love photography and I feel so alive when I’m able to capture events/places on “film” (saying “on a memory card” just doesn’t have the same ring ;)). He is such a great God and He can be seen in all of His creation…and I love bringing pieces of His creation back home for others to experience as well.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me gifts through which you bless others.

Day Three: I’m Thankful For…Family

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Preface: Last year I decided to express my thanks during the month of November for something new each day, as so many others have done before me. I never finished this series, so that’s my goal this year. I am re-posting the ones I wrote last year and adding new ones. This was originally posted on 11/03/12 (with slight changes made today).

I have a unique and wonderful family…some I’ve known my whole life, some I’ve known for seven years (my dad’s biological family), and some I’ve known for four years (Brennan’s family). I have been surrounded by love my entire life and I am so thankful for that.

During our tenure as Relief Houseparents at the Milton Hershey School (nearly two years), we became so thankful for our family and childhoods. Our MHS boys long for the family stability from which I come, and it truly breaks my heart when they talk about not having (or not really knowing their) fathers. Many come from very broken homes…and these things have affected them deeply.

I am blessed to have a heritage of life-long marriages: my parents will celebrate 33 years on November 8th, my mom’s parents just celebrated 61 years, and my dad’s parents just celebrated 57 years. My great-grandparents were married over 60 years. We’ve been blessed to be a very tight-knit family. My mom’s side of the family just held their 52nd annual family reunion this past summer. My family is loving, caring, compassionate, welcoming, and hilarious. 🙂

I’m very thankful for my parents and for the example they have provided for my brother and I. Their marriage has faced its trials as life has thrown them some interesting curves over the years…but, they chose to grow stronger together and to fight these trials together instead of allowing their marriage to fall apart. They chose to love each other through it all and their marriage is incredibly strong because of it. My parents are willing to do anything they can to help someone in need, and that is one of my favorite things about them.

I’m thankful that Brennan’s family has welcomed me with open arms and has made me feel welcome from day one. Since they live in the area, it’s really great to have family here since mine is so far away.

I’m so thankful that we have had the opportunity to meet my dad’s biological family and that through this experience we’ve learned so much about our genetics and our quirks. I’m so much like my dad, so meeting them has solved some mysteries for me as well (including where my green eyes came from). I’m thankful that they also (for the most part) opened their arms to us and have made us feel like we’ve always been part of the family.

Thank you, Lord, for your provision of family…

Day Two: I’m Thankful For…Provision.

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Preface: Last year I decided to express my thanks during the month of November for something new each day, as so many others have done before me. I never finished this series, so that’s my goal this year. I am re-posting the ones I wrote last year and adding new ones. This was originally posted on 11/02/12 (with slight changes made today).

I absolutely LOVE our budget days, which occur every other Wednesday. Why do I love budgeting? Here’s why: we always make our budget before we know what our checks will be, and this puts us in a position of prayer that God will meet our needs for that budget period. And God provides EVERY SINGLE TIME. Without fail. He may not allow for some of our “wants” but He ALWAYS provides for our needs!

God richly and abundantly provides for the NEEDS of His children, and I am so thankful for that. I am so thankful for the jobs that He has provided for us that have allowed us to pay off all of our credit card debt last year! Our jobs have enabled us to work diligently at becoming debt-free and it is one way through which God has provided for us.

Looking further back, I can see His hand in so many times of personal need before marriage. I was unemployed for so many months yet never went hungry or without shelter. Through those experiences He taught me to rely on Him FULLY for provision (and He provided in some seriously miraculous ways!), as well as the importance of living frugally, and those are things we strive for in our marriage as well. We work hard to be good stewards and we trust that our needs will be met…and they always are! 

I’m also thankful for the provision that He provides so that we can give back to others who are in need. He is so faithful to provide! So many people allowed themselves to be used by God during my time of need, and I love that we are now in the position to be His hands and feet to others during their time of need. I’m so thankful that He has created such a wonderful community among Christians…a community through which we can humbly admit our needs and allow others to step in and help us.

God is our Provider…

 

Day One: I’m Thankful For…Jesus

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Preface: Last year I decided to express my thanks during the month of November for something new each day, as so many others have done before me. I never finished this series, so that’s my goal this year. I am re-posting the ones I wrote last year and adding new ones. This was originally posted on 11/01/12.

I am so unbelievably thankful for Jesus and His unconditional love. I am so thankful for His grace, His provision, His guidance, and His mercy. He is truly the source of my joy and my strength! He has never failed me and has kept every promise without fail. He sustains me when I am weak and guides me when I am clueless (which is SO often). He is faithful and His wonders never cease.

I could write for hours about all that He has done, but I will leave it at that for now. 🙂 He is the source of every other post that will follow because He has given me everything that I have and has made me everything that I am. And I am thankful.

For Freedom: The New Jenny & Tyler Album

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I can’t remember exactly when  or how I discovered Jenny & Tyler, but it has been love from the beginning. This husband and wife duo produces such incredible music and it brings joy to my ears!

I was so excited to find out that I was selected to be on the “launch team” for their new album, “For Freedom” – an album of cover songs with all proceeds going to organizations that fight human trafficking around the world – because I love J&T and I support these organizations! It’s a win-win situation!

I received an advance copy of the album and have already listened to it at least five times. It’s absolutely wonderful! I generally am not a fan of covers, but this album is incredible and I feel that they improved each song by adding their own creative flair.

So far, my favorite song is their cover of U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”…side note, I’m also in the “choir” of 300 voices that you hear on the chorus! But that’s truly not why it’s my favorite. Their interpretation of this song is beautiful and I love the musical elements that they added. The instrumental before the last verse crescendos with excitement about what’s to come and it makes me want to sing at the top of my lungs with them! Their use of percussion and other various instruments created such a rich, full sound, along with amazing harmonies. I just love it and honestly can’t get enough (ask my husband!) 🙂

The album releases on 11/12/13 (what a memorable date!) and you MUST get a copy for yourself!

While you’re at it, check out Jenny & Tyler’s website or Facebook page and learn more about them and their music. More information on this album can be found there, as well.

New Chapter and Healing from the Previous One…

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I began a new chapter in my life this week – moving from unemployment/temporary work to a new, “permanent” position.

I had a difficult time in the weeks leading up to this new beginning as I was unsure of whether or not I should have accepted the position. It didn’t have anything to do with the job or the employer itself – it had everything to do with a “fear of commitment” in regards to jobs that I didn’t know I had developed. It had everything to do with past scars caused by some awful supervisors that I’ve had in the recent past. And it also had everything to do with the fact that this isn’t my “dream” – this isn’t what I feel so passionate about, and I was afraid that taking this job would prevent me from further pursuing that which God has placed in my heart. Essentially, I was afraid of what might be around the corner and I was afraid of making the wrong decision.

From the very first hour of my new job I began to see that the negative things about my past job are nonexistent here. From the smallest to the largest things, God has redeemed my employment situation. I also began to see that I had built a wall around my heart during my last job that was preventing me from being excited/feeling blessed about where God has brought me now. I didn’t realize that I had done this, but God is using new experiences each day to slowly remove one brick at a time, which is showing me just how high the wall had become. Still, even now, I am having a hard time letting myself be excited and letting myself just accept that God has brought me to a place where I am needed, wanted, affirmed, empowered, treated with respect, included…

Looking back (hindsight is 20/20, after all) over this past summer, there is no doubt in my mind that everything God allowed to happen was incredibly intentional:

May 17, 2013: Laid off from HE&R (SO THANKFUL!!!!), beginning a time of solitude, reflection, unknown, and healing.

At the same time, Brennan and I are beginning to feel that we shouldn’t be “regular relief houseparents” at the Milton Hershey School anymore due to family/church circumstances…we begin praying.

June/July: Able to do photography for Christian Retreat Center‘s camps because I was laid off, reminding me of my love for photography.

June 25: Jon Acuff sends out an email/blog post/tweet about joining him on an adventure and I accept.

Brennan and I decide to try to become “emergency relief” at MHS which would allow us to be home each weekend (unless called) and would allow us to still be involved with the students.

July 15: “The START Experiment” begins…my risk was to focus on self-discipline after several months of not-so-subtle nudging from the Lord…

July-August: I realize through the START Experiment and the accompanying community what my dream job really is and I begin to pursue it. I start Essential Harrisburg and begin sending my portfolio to potential organizations.

I also interviewed for this new job at MHS in August.

We are told that we wouldn’t be allowed to be “emergency relief” due to the number of couples already in that status. I also find out from HR a few days after my interview that I cannot accept a potential job offer from MHS if we are still “regular relief” because of the number of hours I would be working.

We are faced with an incredibly difficult decision to either quit or stay on as “regular relief”…

One Sunday, while covering a student home, my supervisor “just happens” to come by and I am able to pour my heart out to him regarding all of this and our desire to stay on with the school as houseparents.

We find out on September 3 that we have been granted “emergency relief” status…and an hour later, I am offered the job that I later accepted. 

September 12-17: I had the incredible privilege of attending “The START Conference” in Nashville, TN and finally got to meet some of the amazing friends I made through “The START Experiment” and was able to further clarify my “dream” and made some connections with professionals in that field. AMAZING. I came home filled with energy, excitement, peace, and even more trust in what God is doing behind the scenes.

Our God is not a God of coincidence. Nothing that happened this summer is a coincidence.

If I had not been laid off…if I had not accepted Jon’s offer of adventure…if…

This new chapter of life is still very new, and my future is still very “fuzzy” and obscure, but I already feel so at peace.

I know that God has placed the dream in my heart to travel around the world, taking pictures and telling stories, and I have no doubt that He will bring that to fruition in His timing. For now, I am going to do my best here, at a job about which I am passionate, telling the story of Mr. & Mrs. Hershey and their incredible generosity and legacy, while waiting for whatever God might have in the future.

 

 

September 11, 2001

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I can’t believe that it has already been twelve years. It was my first full week of classes at Azusa Pacific University. I was only 18.

Rather than write something new today, I thought I’d share two posts that I wrote on this day in 2004 and 2005:

September 11, 2004: NEVER FORGET…

I’m sure that most people are posting about what today represents…

So I don’t want to repeat all that has been said.

The thing that I remember the most about that day was probably my devotional reading.

I read “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers, and was blown away by the relevancy of the devotional. It is always so amazing to me how God puts things exactly where they are needed…it happens SO often with what I read, as I’m sure it does with you all as well.

The last line of this devotional is so incredibly true and relevant…and I wanted to share it with you all.

May we never forget what happened on that September day…

September 11: Missionary Weapons

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet—John 13:14

Ministering in Everyday Opportunities.

Ministering in everyday opportunities that surround us does not mean that we select our own surroundings—it means being God’s very special choice to be available for use in any of the seemingly random surroundings which He has engineered for us. The very character we exhibit in our present surroundings is an indication of what we will be like in other surroundings.

The things Jesus did were the most menial of everyday tasks, and this is an indication that it takes all of God’s power in me to accomplish even the most common tasks in His way. Can I use a towel as He did? Towels, dishes, sandals, and all the other ordinary things in our lives reveal what we are made of more quickly than anything else. It takes God Almighty Incarnate in us to do the most menial duty as it ought to be done.

Jesus said, “I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you” (13:15). Notice the kind of people that God brings around you, and you will be humiliated once you realize that this is actually His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now He says we should exhibit to those around us exactly what He has exhibited to us.

Do you find yourself responding by saying, “Oh, I will do all that once I’m out on the mission field”? Talking in this way is like trying to produce the weapons of war while in the trenches of the battlefield–you will be killed while trying to do it. We have to go the “second mile” with God (see Matthew 5:41 ). Yet some of us become worn out in the first ten steps. Then we say, “Well, I’ll just wait until I get closer to the next big crisis in my life.”

But if we do not steadily minister in everyday opportunities, we will do nothing when the crisis comes.

 

September 11, 2005:

As I taught Sunday School this morning, I couldn’t help but bring up the events of September 11, 2001. I asked my junior high and high schoolers what they remember, and surprisingly they remembered a lot. Most of them were in 3rd or 4th grade…I was in my first full week as a college student.

I was getting ready for work, and when I walked out into the hallway of my dorm, three or four girls were on their phones. That was strange because it was 7:30am. One of them told me that the Pentagon had been bombed, and I walked away in disbelief, because “no one just bombs the Pentagon.” I got to work (in the library’s media center), and all the tvs were on. The rest is history. It was so sobering!

In the summer of 2002 I visited Ground Zero, and was struck by the enormity of the hole…I had never been to NYC to see the towers, and I will never forget that visit. It was silent, though there were probably 500 people around.

As we discussed the events this morning, I also talked about Philippians 4:11, which is the verse that has been my biggest continual lesson over the past six weeks or so. It is often SO hard to be content whatever the circumstances…especially in the light of a horrific tragedy. However, we must remember that God is sovereign, and He alone knows the greater purposes that will come from these events. We must rest and be content knowing that the awesome Creator of the universe is in COMPLETE control.

It’s so humbling to reflect upon all that I have been given, and all the ways in which the Lord has blessed me. I praise Him for all the situations through which He has brought me, and I am eager to continue learning these lessons as I grow in Him.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength…” (Phil. 4:13)

 

When Life is Uncomfortable: My Greatest “Kingdom Journey” Thus Far…

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“Through discomfort, I’ve learned to depend on God when my natural instinct is to rely on my own skills and talents.” — Seth Barnes, Kingdom Journeys

My greatest lessons in life have been learned through discomfort. This is an example that we see throughout the Bible : no one grows as much during periods of comfort and prosperity, but they grow exponentially through times of adversity and trials. Look at Moses, Abraham, Joseph and David, to name a few. The lives of these men did not go as they had anticipated, but they ended up being used by God in extraordinary ways because of their obedience and willingness to journey without a map in front of them.

“In the worship of security we fling our lives beneath the wheels of routine–and before we know it, our lives are gone.” — Seth Barnes, Kingdom Journeys

In 2007 I began to pray what many considered to be a “crazy” prayer but it is the prayer that has shaped me to this day in ways I could not have imagined. I prayed that God would make me uncomfortable. I was in a spiritual valley/rut and I saw no escape. I began to see a pattern in the Bible of growth following discomfort, so I boldly asked God for the same blessing. Had I known what was to come I might not have prayed so boldly.

“You can’t be remade until you first allow yourself to be unmade.” — Seth Barnes, Kingdom Journeys

2007-2008 brought so much change in my life. On top of the external change, I also developed pneumonia that I unknowingly (I was told it was just severe allergies at first) battled for 13 weeks. I was so sick and lost the ability to sing during that time because my throat was so raw and my lungs were so weak. Singing is possibly my greatest God-given talent, so to have it taken away was most definitely uncomfortable. In addition to sickness, He also began to shift relationships in my life and began paving the way for a greater future than I had imagined. In many ways, I felt broken inside. But I was open to whatever He had for me.

God began to break me so that I could be remade, and it came in ways I never would have anticipated…like moving across the country with no job, only two friends in the area, and a lot of unknowns.

The move began to take shape in October 2007, during a two-week visit to Pennsylvania. I flew out to sing at a friend’s wedding and to attend another friend’s wedding the week after. I decided to take a road trip around Pennsylvania to see some of the “kids” who were in my youth group in Williamsport (when I served as a summer missionary in 2002-2003) at their respective colleges. As I drove back to Williamsport after spending a few days in Pittsburgh, I was enamored with the fall foliage and the beauty that surrounded me. It hit me that I did not want to return to Southern California.

I’m a California Girl, through and through: I lived in Northern California until I turned 18, and I then moved to Southern California for college at Azusa Pacific University. By this point, I had already been there two years longer than I had expected (i.e. I had planned to move right after college) and I felt dread at the thought of returning. So, on that beautiful fall day in Central Pennsylvania, I began to pray that God would let me move to Pennsylvania. I prayed and prayed…and during the next six months I watched God in amazement as He prepared the way for the biggest move of my life.

Church became uncomfortable in many ways. I had been serving as the “Missions Coordinator” at my church and had been met with road blocks to a few projects that God had laid on my heart–and the road block was the pastor. No church is perfect, and no person is perfect, but this pastor in particular seemed to fight any idea that was new or that would change things at the church at all. The church council loved my idea: I had proposed a detailed plan to have it ready and operating before I moved, AND I had ways to have it completely funded. Road block. This only furthered my frustration and cemented the realization that it was time to pray about leaving the church (and the people I so dearly loved) to find a place to further God’s Kingdom in our community and to be obedient to Him and the ideas He had given me.

Our housing situation became uncomfortable. Very long story short, there were five girls altogether renting a house in a “gated community”, and the self-proclaimed leaders of the Home-Owners Association didn’t want us there. They wouldn’t even let us use the pool. The battle was long and so irrational, as we were quiet, respectful tenants who truly did not deserve this treatment.

Work became uncomfortable. I had been interviewing for a promotion and it seemed like it was “in the bag”–we all knew I was going to get it. But, I didn’t. Someone opted to take a step down (including a pay cut) from a supervisor position to the team leader position that I had worked so hard to achieve. That doesn’t just happen. I kept praying.

“People need pain to grow. So much of spiritual maturity has to do with how we process pain. Discipline entails embracing the painful or unpleasant in the short-term in order to realize long-term gains.”– Seth Barnes, Kingdom Journeys

I was preparing to spend a month in New Orleans with the mission team that I was co-leading from Azusa Pacific University, and my company informed me in early March that I would not be allowed to take the time off (even though they had previously approved it). I kept praying, but I knew that this was a CLEAR sign. He had led me to co-lead this team and He had orchestrated everything (including all of our funding). I knew New Orleans had to happen, and I knew that I would have to quit my job in order to go. And quitting my job meant that I was free to leave Southern California.

On March 18th, 2008, God gave me permission to move to Pennsylvania. I was praying as I walked around my neighborhood and I finally got my “verbal” (as opposed to circumstantial) answer: go or stay. He made it clear that He would use me in Southern California and He would use me in Pennsylvania–it was my decision to make.

“We can’t be fully transformed in our own backyard. We need to journey.” — Seth Barnes, Kingdom Journeys

Not only did the summer of 2008 involve a move across the country, it also involved a month-long “Kingdom Journey” in New Orleans, Louisiana, assisting with the continued clean-up in the city. I am still learning lessons from that trip–ones that are uncomfortable. God revealed so much to me about myself during that trip, and I still have a lot of growing to do.

Two weeks after we returned to Southern California from New Orleans, I set out on the biggest adventure of my life thus far. On July 15th, 2008, my mom and I left Glendora, CA and began our drive eastward, having no idea what God really had in store. And the adventure continues, five years later.

“A Kingdom Journey is most effective when we abandon what we think we cannot abandon. With less, we discover the core of who we are.” — Seth Barnes, Kingdom Journeys

31 pounds by 31 years

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Today was a very motivating day for me in general, and I came up with an audacious goal: I want to lose 31 pounds by my 31st birthday, which is on December 31, 2013. Lots of “1” and “3” up there. 🙂

By the way–I hate posting about this. It’s so much easier to just ignore my problem and tell myself that “it’s not that bad” and that it will be too hard to change. Whatever. From this day forward, I’m declaring war against weight-gain. 🙂

Science tells us that it is safest to lose 1-2 lbs per week. Given that I have 19 weeks, that means that I should be able to lose 38 lbs (my ultimate goal is 45-50) by that time.

How am I going to do this? I know that when I am strict and eat “clean” (and eat NO sugar), the weight comes off so easily. Add working out regularly to that, and I think this should be an easily obtainable goal.

How am I motivating myself? Three main ways:

One, I am not going to allow myself to donate my hair (working on my 4th donation) until the weight is gone. I am really ready to donate it, so this is incentive.

Two, when I lose the weight, Brennan and I will have some updated pictures taken of ourselves, since the last professional pictures were at our wedding nearly three years ago. I really don’t like having pictures taken of me right now, since I am heavier than I have ever been.

Three, I will get to go shopping! I haven’t really bought a ton of new clothes in the past year because I keep saying “when I lose weight…” Well, given the fact that I own ONE pair of jeans now because I can’t fit into the rest of them, this needs to be a major motivation.

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The other silly motivation is our Wii Fit. My “Mii” is SO round and it makes me annoyed every time I see it.

According to the Wii, by BMI puts me in the “obese” category (cringing right now as I type that), and I want it to be back to “normal” (though, according to those charts, I need to lose 60 lbs, and that’s not likely to happen).  I want to wear a single-digit size for the first time since high school. I want to be more comfortable around people, not fearing what they are thinking about me.

Most of all, I WANT to be healthy. I want to be active. I want to feel great, and I know that eating clean, cutting out sugar, and starting to exercise more regularly will help tremendously.

So, it starts today. 133 days until I turn 31, and I want that birthday celebration (in California, with my family) to be AMAZING. By our anniversary on November 6th, I want to be able to fit into that black dress that I’ve NEVER worn because it didn’t fit.

I’m going to keep posting updates here because it creates accountability, and it is also forcing me to own up to my weight problem. Vulnerability is freeing and I’m trying to embrace that more often.

Most of all, I want to honor God by taking better care of this body with which He has blessed me, and I never want my weight to hinder me from serving Him in any way.