I prefer to write, not be on camera, so I initally wrote out a script (using talk to text) to read to make this video. I know I went off-script a few times, but if you prefer to read, this is the original transcript:

The Importance of Humility in Advocacy, Communication, and Life

When I look back at the last ten years, I think what I’ve learned the most is how to practice humility in everyday life. I certainly don’t have this perfected, but because of my involvement with the scientific community over the past ten years, I have learned the value of being willing to change my mind. Of being willing to say I was wrong. I’ve learned the value of not taking it personally when someone points out that I have been believing incorrectly. 

This has not been an easy road, but I can tell you that, with practice, it becomes even easier to trust but verify; to say, this doesn’t exactly sound right, so maybe I should look into it and then change my mind or my perspective based on what I learn.

Graduate school certainly helped with this as well because we were reminded of the importance of citing sources – and not just any sources, but accurate, legitimate sources for anything we wrote.

All of this combined has been so freeing and so powerful, and I really hope that more of us can learn to normalize saying hey I was wrong and be willing to change our minds when presented with new facts and new information; because, the truth is, studies have proven over and over again that the more a lie is told the more is believed; the more that radical ideas are shared in the public space, the more normal they become, which leads to dangerous situations in some cases. We see this repeat itself throughout history. 

As I have become more comfortable with admitting that I’m wrong and changing my mind, I’ve become very aware of how many people dislike the way I have chosen to live. Dislike me, even. I don’t know if it’s because they are in a group that has made their partisan beliefs their identity, and they don’t want to admit that maybe the very things they have based their value system upon are false.

The Challenge of Hypocrisy

I don’t know if it’s pride that makes people double down when they are wrong; I don’t know.

All I know is that I was taught my entire life to focus on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8

I was taught to look for the fruits of the spirit:

 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Galatians 5:22-23

I was taught to love my neighbor as myself. 

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22: 37-40

I was taught that we can tell the health of a tree by the fruit that it produces.

“A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

Luke 6:43-45

I was taught all of these things from birth, and now I see so many of those same people who taught me all of these things completely disregarding it. I see people praising a leader who looks nothing like Jesus, and justifying his actions and policies even though they are the opposite of what Jesus said.

And I don’t understand, but I’m willing to learn how this has happened.

Blindly Partisan

Part of this, I believe, has been intentional messaging for decades now; and, it’s really hard to admit that maybe you’ve been misled, that maybe the other side really isn’t the enemy, that we shouldn’t dehumanize people simply because they see things differently, and we shouldn’t discount what they have to say just because they’re not on our “team.” 

There’s one specific issue that a party has used for decades now to gain power, despite the fact that they continually use false information and demonize those who see it differently without looking at statistics and data. But their messaging and framing have been so effective that they’ve convinced their party members that it’s the only thing that matters, and if a leader says they share their stance on it, everything else is fine. Nothing else matters.

And I can say that because I used to be in that camp.

None of this is easy, but I can tell you that it’s worth it. It will not only improve your interpersonal relationships if you let it, but it will also help depolarize our country right now. Different sets of facts are being spread, and some of them are definitely not verified. In fact, they’re often fabricated entirely – no citations, no sources, no data. And yet we have been conditioned to believe what our party says or what the leader of our party says, and instead of questioning whether or not that is true, if it’s right, if it’s just, we go along with it. It’s easier that way; less effort is required on our part. 

So, my challenge to you today is to not blindly believe what anyone says to you. Trust but verify, and if you find that you have been misled, normalize saying, “You know what. I learned new information, and I’m going to change my mind.”

Normalize saying, “I don’t know, but let me learn from those who are experts.”

Humility in Advocacy

I cannot tell you how many times in the last 10 years I’ve been put in that situation, even with newborn screening. The more I learned about the complexities of the systems, the more I got to know the decisionmakers and their perspectives, the more I realized that the simple arguments we had as an advocacy community were simply not good enough or not even accurate.

I had to take the time to learn the perspective of those to whom I was advocating, not only so I could speak their language but to genuinely learn why they had the concerns that they had. I came to them with peer-reviewed data. I came ready with everything that I could think of, and because they were willing to listen and learn, it eventually worked, but I don’t only mean that it worked in the sense that they did what I wanted them to do. 

It worked in that it made me a better person. It made me someone willing to listen to understand, willing to learn, and willing to stop assuming nefarious intent when there is none.

What makes me the saddest of all is how my coming to this point in my life has led so many to dislike me and has led so many to write me off, even those who claim to know me the best. Especially those who claim to know me best (not my husband – he has changed in similar ways). 

And it’s been difficult for me to say to myself, I would rather be accurate than right.

I’d rather take the time to say I don’t know than be pridefully or willingly ignorant.

I would rather be accurate and believe accurately because the only way I can see our country moving forward is if more of us are willing to adopt this position of humility and a willingness to listen and learn.

Liberty and Justice for ALL

It’s not going to be easy and I know that many will likely blow this off or scoff at me because they scoff at other things that I have said, but I think it’s worth continuing to try to educate others, continuing to grow as a person myself because I believe in the principles upon which our country was founded, which is liberty and justice for all.

ALL.

ALL includes the people that you disagree with, the people you dehumanize, the people you write off because they happen to be affiliated with a certain political party, without actually understanding the reasons why they have their stance. Without taking the time to sit down and speak with them and learn that they are indeed humans who care deeply about our country.

This is where compromise is so important because we all have to come to the table to discuss these difficult issues and reach a compromise so that we can move forward as a country.

We don’t need to move right, we don’t need to move left. We need to move forward (to paraphrase the motto of the Forward Party). And the only way we’re going to move forward is with a little bit of humility. 

Facts matter greatly, perhaps more than ever

Our current president is not known for caring about facts. I do not say this to cause controversy, even though I know it will because he has such a dedicated fan base.

It’s simply reality. It’s well-established by multiple sources. Even worse, he isn’t known for coming back and admitting that he was wrong or that his plans didn’t work out as expected.

This is why fact-checking and accountability are so important on all sides, for everybody, because humans make mistakes. The important thing is to be willing to admit that we were wrong – and to normalize admitting that we were wrong – because the truth is that what happens in the United States impacts the entire world. 

We need to be willing to admit that we make mistakes, that we sometimes believe wrongly, that we are sometimes misled, and coming to that point of realization for each of us is what is going to bring strength to our nation again.

Humility is a strength, not a weakness.

Choose to be American, not partisan. Look at each issue with the intent to learn facts, even if it means you may have been wrong. I promise you it brings freedom and peace.