Don’t assign nefarious intent where none exists.
That’s a paraphrase from something Sharon McMahon once said (I wish I could remember the direct quote!), and it has stuck with me.
In other words, don’t immediately assume that someone’s intentions are bad.
One of the benefits of becoming nonpartisan has been the freedom to explore ideas and policies, learn from different perspectives, and challenge myself to think outside the box I was raised in. Sometimes, I find that I was right, and sometimes, I was wrong. Most of the time, I’m at peace now because I’ve learned the power of being willing to change my mind. It’s freeing to not allow my pride to keep me from being accurate and believing rightly.
Still, I sometimes find myself automatically assuming nefarious intent. I hear about something the administration is doing, and my first reaction is an assumption of intent. I read a comment from someone who is supposed to be “on my side,” and I get angry without asking further questions to truly learn.
This habit is difficult to break.
Just as becoming nonpartisan has been a process, so is this. Sometimes I find that I was correct about the intent behind an action taken or words spoken, sometimes I’m proven wrong.
What matters is that I’m able to step back, remind myself to not assume nefarious intent, and recenter my thoughts; that I’m willing to learn, accept responsibility for my assumptions, and change my mind.
It’s not easy, especially now. Especially when so many people have lost their jobs, important committees have been disbanded, lives of children are at stake. It’s even harder since they gave us their playbook (Project 2025), and we know that Christian Nationalism is their goal.
It’s hard to not make assumptions.
But what has helped is realizing how it feels when others do this to me.
Last week, a member of our community posted on his blog and in the paper incorrect assumptions about those of us running for school board. He assigned nefarious intent where none exists, and there are real consequences to this.
Being willing to make these assumptions allows us to be misled, to be misinformed, and ultimately, to miss out on knowing really good people. It also dehumanizes the very real people behind those stances, and history has taught us that dehumanization is dangerous.
To be honest, I’m tired of having assumptions made about me, especially by our own families. I’m tired of having people assume that I’m wrong because I see things differently. I’m tired of being accused of thinking I’m better than everyone simply because I care enough to learn the truth and stand up for what’s right. And I’m tired of watching this play out in families and relationships and watching them deteriorate because of assumptions.
And I remind myself that I’m capable of making these assumptions, too.
All I can control is my own approach:
- I will continue to listen to understand even while I’m angry.
- I will change my mind when I learn new information.
- I will continue to seek out varying perspectives and not live in an echo chamber.
- I’m going to focus on the actions I can take and the words I can speak to make a difference.
I was created to drive change and to make the world a better place – we all were.
So let’s take that seriously, starting with not assuming that people who see the world in a different light are trying to destroy it.
Let’s not base our feelings about a person on the letter behind their name – R or D.
People are people. Validate their lived experiences, believe them.
More than that, work with them to solve problems like adults should – together, collaboratively.
Partisan fighting is never going to make America great. In fact, it will destroy us.
Let’s normalize (and celebrate) changing our minds when presented with new and factual information. We should not allow our pride to keep us in spaces we don’t belong, or to hold beliefs just because we always have.
And let’s do our best to assume the best about others.
Think of someone (or a group of people) about whom you tend to make assumptions; what can you do today to learn more about them, about their reasoning for their beliefs and values? Take the time to ask about their dreams and their vision for the country. It’s amazing how humanizing someone can make all the difference.
Even So, Joy 