Category: Musings and Ponderings

Looking Back at 2008…

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This has probably been the most crazy year of my life thus far. It has been filled with trials and challenges, but also with joy and growth…I’m 26 years old today–and I’m now closer to 30 than 20. Such a strange thought! I don’t feel like I could possibly be nearly 30, but I guess that’s a good thing. 🙂

In December 2007, I began praying that God would make me “uncomfortable.” I realized that I was not growing in my faith because I was comfortable where I was in life…when you look at the example of any biblical character, they grew the most when God challenged them and presented new situations to them. So, I began to pray that He would do the same with me. And He did not disappoint. The most obvious example of that is that I now live in Pennsylvania, where I’m experiencing my first “real Winter”. 🙂 The growth that has occurred this year is remarkable, and I can’t wait to see where I am at this time next year! I have learned that being comfortable is overrated–and boring, actually. 🙂

In 2008:

I attended the “Passion” conference in L.A., by myself, and was forever changed by that event…I was given an opportunity to teach in Dubai for the 2008-2009 school year…I had to quit my job at ADP because they changed their mind about giving me time off to lead my mission team to New Orleans…I decided to move to Pennsylvania without a job, trusting the Lord in His guidance…I spent six days driving across the United States with my Mom (and saw things like the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, and other things in the nine states we drove through)…I went to seven new states this year, bringing the total to 31…I had pneumonia for 13 weeks…I spent an amazing month in New Orleans, serving the Lord and serving others…I took about 15,000 pictures…I spent 5 months unemployed and watched the Lord provide for me in miraculous ways…I now have an incredible job with a growing lobbying firm, where I can finally use my degree and my passions…I got in my first car accident, and had to buy a new car…I learned a valuable lesson about friendships–it’s okay to let some go, because some people are “toxic” to our lives…I drove in snow for the first time…I’ve lost some friends and gained new ones, and my life has been so blessed by my new friends in Pennsylvania…I’ve learned that it’s okay to accept help from others…I found a new church here in PA that is healthy, missions-focused, and I’m ready to dive in and serve…

2009 is going to be an interesting year, that’s for sure. Two of my good friends and I decided to give up ice cream (defined as anything that is “frozen dairy”) for a year. It will most definitely be the hardest thing I’ve given up! However, it will be a constant reminder that I’m trying to be even more healthy when it comes to food than I already am, and I am going to succeed this year in losing the weight I gained while I had pneumonia. 🙂 So, I’m eating a lot of ice cream today! If the Moravian shoe thing I tried (see prior posts) is accurate (Ha!), then I’ll be engaged by next Christmas. Not counting on that, but I wouldn’t mind! 🙂

Most of all, I’m excited to see what the Lord is going to do in my life and in the lives of those around me. He called me here to Central Pennsylvania for a reason, and I’m excited to see what He has in store! 🙂

The Meaning of Christmas…

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Last year, I wrote this entry regarding my frustration with people who celebrate Christmas for their own reasons, and who don’t allow Christians to celebrate it openly–even though it’s a religious holiday…and I can’t say my opinion on this has changed much in a year (though I’m much calmer about the subject, haha). I honestly am coming to feel that if people don’t celebrate Christmas because it’s the birthday of Christ, then they shouldn’t celebrate it at all. I don’t celebrate holidays if I don’t believe in the event/reason for which the holiday was created (i.e. Columbus Day)! So, why should Christmas be any different? At least this school is being consistent with all religions.

More and more, I see Christians being persecuted for their beliefs in the United States…and I actually think it’s a healthy thing. Persecution causes people to either grow stronger or to abandon their faith (more often the former), and it causes people to truly think about why they believe what they do. This is something the Church in America desperately needs to do!

Here’s the text to my entry from last year:

It boggles my mind when I hear about things like this… ONE person complained about a Christmas tree being put up, and they school takes it down (though they put it back up). Why does it seem like the only religion people ever complain about is Christianity? If someone had a dreidel on a table, or any other item symbolizing a religious holiday, no one would complain–why is it only Christian holidays that are criticized? I never seem to hear about Christians claiming to be “offended” by other religions celebrating their holidays! (I have a theory about this as well, but we’ll save that for another time)…

In my home county, Tehama County, the county offices are not allowed to decorate with angels or Santa–because they are “religious symbols“…

DUH! The entire holiday is religious! It’s about the Son of God, coming to earth as a human baby, born in Bethlehem two-thousand years ago…that’s what Christmas is about. Even Linus from Peanuts knows this (see “Charlie Brown Christmas”)…It’s not about presents, or anything else that the secular world has made it to be. It’s about our Savior’s marvelous birth and life…

To those who want the “religious symbols” taken away from Christmas, I ask this question: Why do you even celebrate Christmas if you don’t understand/appreciate the true meaning? It would be like someone celebrating/participating in Ramadan, because they wanted to diet and Ramadan includes fasting from sunrise to sundown…what a dumb reason to do something! If you are celebrating Christmas just to get gifts…I don’t even know what to say to you…

I think it’s kind of ridiculous to make a holiday into something that it’s not (i.e. Christmas and presents with no Jesus, Easter and the candy/”Easter bunny” with no Jesus), and I think it’s even more ridiculous to ignore that which you choose to ignore–like the fact that these holidays are about JESUS.

If “Christmas symbols”–like angels and nativity scenes, and apparently even Christmas trees–offend you, then don’t celebrate. BUT, don’t prevent someone else from celebrating the birth of their Lord and Savior…

And don’t even mention the “Separation of Church and State” to me in this situation–because the majority of citizens in this country use that phrase out of its true context constantly. I’m not going to go off on that tangent right now (if you are curious, you can ask)…just know that it doesn’t apply to decorations in a cubicle!

I am SO thankful to work for a company that truly embraces diversity and allows associates to express their religions/cultures. In two weeks, I’m participating in a Christmas Caroling performance at WORK–and we’re singing “religious” songs! How awesome is that?! No one is forced to come to the performances, but nearly everyone does, because they understand that it’s stupid to be offended by something like that, and they enjoy the celebration. We have Christmas trees in the lobby and in the cafeteria. And I have never heard anyone complain about that.

Yes, I’m on a soap box. But it’s absolutely amazing to me how far this country has gone to be “free from religion”. If you don’t want to be “religious”, that’s your choice (though it breaks my heart because you are missing out on the most marvelous relationship available to you)–but it’s also my choice and freedom to be “religious”.

The Constitution of the United States of America grants us the freedom OF religion, and the right to practice it freely. And I take that right very seriously.

Crooks…

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My friend Chris Massa wrote the following “essay” (for lack of a better term), and I couldn’t help but post it here. It is brilliant, absolutely true, and worth reading…hopefully it makes you think like it did me…

I first saw this picture when I came into the Starbucks where I work yesterday, on Wednesday, October 8. It was on the front page of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and it didn’t make a big impression on me, at first. With the financial situation how it is, I’m used to seeing pictures of CEOs hanging their heads in shame. But the more I looked at it, a word jumped out at me: CROOK. For some reason, people felt that this man, whoever he is, is a crook. 

I saw his picture again this morning, of all places, on Roger Ebert’s website. Ebert’s a fantastic writer, but he’s known for his film criticism, not his political or economic analysis. That’s when I knew that this guy, Richard Fuld, had clearly done something that I should know about.

Here’s the short version: Fuld is the Chairman and CEO of Lehman Brothers, a 158-year-old global financial-services firm based in New York City. Really, I don’t know what any of that means. I have no clue what Lehman Brothers does, or ever did. What I do understand is that they declared bankruptcy on September 15, the largest bankruptcy in US history, and Fuld appeared before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee — or as I like to call it, HOGREFORM — on Monday, October 6.

Roger Ebert points out that, when asked what defines “rich,” both John McCain and Barack Obama had very different answers. Obama said, to be considered rich, you should be making $250,000 a year. McCain said $5 million. In some ways, both of these numbers work for me. Yes, if you make $5 million a year, you’re definitely rich. My issue is that, by default, anyone who makes less than these figures would have to be considered, at best, middle-class. In my opinion, Obama’s figure seems closer to the mark, while McCain’s is hopelessly out-of-touch. Still, consider those two numbers. $250,000. $5,000,000. Brace yourself. Are you ready?

Since 2000, Richard S. Fuld Jr. made approximately $350 million. That’s $350 with six zeros after it. That’s perilously close to half-a-billion. That is a figure that I simply don’t understand, and I never will. And frankly, I’m OK with that. But I digress. Last year, Fuld made roughly $45 million. By my calculations, if he worked 52 weeks a year, 40 hours a week — and I’m willing to bet he didn’t work that much — he was making a little less than $22,000 an hour. And, during the past year, Lehman Brothers was going bankrupt. Translation: He was getting paid $22,000 an hour to watch his company do a nose-dive.

Remember watching “School of Rock” with Jack Black? Remember what he said rock music is really all about? It’s about sticking it to The Man, right? Well, take another look at that picture, my friends. The Man now has a face and a name.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that Fuld is the only example of The Man that we have. There are certainly more Men out there. But for me, and for many people, including HOGREFORM, Fuld is a perfect example of what has gone wrong with the American economy, a reminder that corruption and greed, not prosperity, has trickled down.

But let me take this a step further. Have we forgotten that, every day, 30,000 children die of starvation and preventable diseases? Have we turned a blind eye to the fact that, as we speak, a tuberculosis epidemic is ravaging the developing world, an epidemic that, in 2005, killed 1.7 million people? Don’t we care that, according to the World Bank, 1.2 billion of the world’s population are trying to survive on one dollar a day, or less?

The fact of the matter is that there are serious problems in the world right now, and while throwing money at them won’t make them go away, neither will keeping all the money to ourselves. People in the developing world don’t need our happy thoughts and our best wishes, and praying about it doesn’t excuse us from doing something about it. If he wanted to, instead of buying summer homes and flashy suits, Fuld could have changed the world. Yes, I may be applying an unfair stereotype. I admit that I don’t know what he did with all the money he made, but I don’t think it was worth it. His suit’s not even all that nice.

I know I’m kind of digging myself into a hole here, or at the least, I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. And really, I’m just angry. I’m angry that people like Fuld think they are justified in making more in one hour than I make in a year. I’m angry that CEOs on Wall Street are letting the American taxpayer foot the bill for their corruption. And I’m also angry that, when our economy is in trouble, we would have the audacity to think that we have it bad. Quite frankly, I’m angry that we honestly believe that the next President will be able to make it all better.

I guess, when it really comes down to it, I’m angry at myself. I’m not on Fuld’s level, perhaps, but I have turned a blind eye towards poverty and injustice far too many times, and I will no doubt turn it again today, and tomorrow, and the day after that. Maybe I’m even a little bit angry that Fuld is ashamed, hanging his head, refusing to make eye contact with those around him, while I’m sitting here in my room, typing away on my Mac, letting people continue to believe that I’m a good person and a nice guy.

I’m not, you know. I’m a crook, too.

Postscript: I just read this on Wikipedia. Apparently, shortly after announcing Lehman Brothers’ bankruptcy, Fuld was punched in the face by an employee at the office gym. I think I understand why.

Isaiah 58 and other thoughts…

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It’s been an interesting week…I said my first “good-bye” yesterday, and it hit me harder than I expected. I know that I will still keep in touch with these loved ones…and it’s not the first time that I have left for an extended period of time–but it is the first time I’ve actually had to say “good-bye” not knowing when I will be back…not knowing when I will see them again. I had planned on doing some sort of temp-work while I was here, but I have realized that the most important thing I can do right now is spend time with these people I love so dearly.

Yesterday, I received a letter from myself that was written in February, at our retreat for the APU mission teams. It was interesting to read my prayers for our team at that time, and to see how God answered those prayers. At the bottom of my letter I wrote *Isaiah 58*, as that was a passage I pondered greatly during that retreat. I re-read it yesterday and was yet again struck by these powerful words:

‘For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them. “Why have we fasted,” they say, “and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?”…

You cannot fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high…Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter–when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose water never fail.”

—Isaiah 58: 2-11

Wow…how beautiful and how powerful…THIS is why we were made–to serve those God places in our path and to love them like He loves them. This is how I want to spend my life, without a doubt. There’s simply no better way…much to ponder… 🙂

So much to ponder…

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The Lord has truly responded to my prayer to be “uncomfortable”, and He’s using so many different books/experiences/people to challenge me!

It started in January, with our “M3” training day for all APU mission team leaders…I walked away that day with a fresh perspective on the Lord’s call on my life (missions), as well as some new things to ponder…and I’m still pondering them…

The weekend after that was “Passion”…again, challenging stuff presented there…still trying to work through it all, deciding how to apply it to my life…

Currently, I’m reading “The Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claiborne…wow…talk about humbling…and challenging…

Then, there was the retreat this weekend, for all the APU mission teams (pictures can be found here, here, and here–there are three albums, LOL)…amazing time getting to know my team–as well as other leaders…but there were also some really challenging times–seeing the world in new ways…and I am not the same after this weekend.

I am loving this journey, this time of being “uncomfortable”…and I know that there is more to come! Praise the Lord! I am so excited about growing, learning, and becoming continually more like Jesus…

I’ll try to blog about more specific things that happened this weekend at some point…I think I’m getting sick (sore throat right now), so I’d better just rest…

God is so good… 🙂

Passion…

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At APU (and at ADP, actually), they encourage each student to take a strengths assessment called “StrengthsQuest”. This was put together by Gallup, and to be honest, I was quite skeptical when I first saw the test. But, because I was going on a mission team, I had to take it.

My top strengths were:

Arranger
Belief
Communication
Context
Developer
Positivity
Responsibility

After the test, and after taking time to learn about what each strength meant, I began to understand myself in a completely new way.

My most prominent strength is belief. It is simply defined in this way: “Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you..your Belief theme will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.”

Anyone who knows me KNOWS this is true. Think about politics…think about family…just about anything in my life! I am a passionate person, and when I stand behind something, or when something really means something to me, it’s hard to get me to not talk about it 🙂

I say all of this for a reason…missions is a huge passion in my life, and has been for as long as I can remember, thanks to my Grandmother. My whole life has been spent learning about missions, the whys, hows, wheres, etc…and now I have several short-term missions trips under my belt as well. The more I teach about missions, experience missions, the more I want to do that for the rest of my life. Period. I can’t imagine anything more satisfying than serving others and sharing the love of Jesus with them–which I realize you can do anywhere, but I feel like I might end up overseas…

I am really praying about the Lord’s call on my life…but things seem to be pointing toward career missions, overseas…most likely in an “unsafe” country…and that excites me to no end! It’s what gets me through the day, knowing that right now I am in a position to learn and to grow, and to receive training for whatever the Lord will bring my way…

Tonight, I spent 2.5 hours listening to a friend share about her recent missions experience in India, and then sharing about my own experiences. Another friend came in later who just got back from the D.R., and she shared about her missions experience as well. I am so fired up right now, so passionate about all that God is doing around the world…and I just had to post this. 🙂

God is doing amazing things in my heart, and in my life, and I am so excited to see where He leads me…because I’ll go wherever that is…

Navajo Trip Update…

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Wow–it has been a month since I’ve blogged! Life has been as crazy as usual…

Quick update…

July 6th-14th: Navajo Mission Trip…amazing! The Lord did some incredible things out there! I had my own personal miracle on the first day of the trip, which set the tone for the whole week. When we prayed in the church parking lot before heading out, I set my camera on the bumper of one of the SUV’s we were taking. We got in the cars and drove off. I realized as we were heading up I-15 (Cajon Pass) that I didn’t know where my camera was (and we weren’t stopping until Barstow, about 90 miles from Glendora)…so for 60 miles, I was trying not to worry, trying to convince myself that my camera was just in another vehicle. We arrived in Barstow, and my camera was STILL on the bumper! Nothing was holding it on! Praise the LORD–He knows what we need!!! I took 800 pictures with my camera this week, though I won’t keep them all. Many shots are worthy of framing, and I will be doing that in the coming weeks.

We had over 100 kids in our VBS during the trip–which is incredible! There were about 20 decisions to follow Christ! 🙂 Yay!

I’m still processing the trip, so I don’t really know what to say yet…but I do know that I feel even more strongly that I could be on the mission field for the rest of my life…

More to come…here are two small albums of pictures to give you a small glimpse into our week. These pictures do not do justice to the beauty of the valley!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2035798&l=f4a55&id=56901132

http://apu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2035800&l=423ce&id=56901132

Oh–and an update to the previous post: my team got 2nd place, so we each received a $100 gift card to BestBuy!! 🙂 YAY!

Some Words from C.S. Lewis…

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“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations…there are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations–these are mortal, and their life is to our as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit–immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” –C.S. Lewis

Perfect Lyrics…

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Caedmon’s Call is my all-time favorite band, and there is always a song of theirs that is appropriate for what I’m going through…

“For You know the plans You have for me, and You can’t plan the end and not plan the means; so I suppose I just need some peace, just to get me to sleep.” –“Table for Two”

God alone knows why any of us go through what we do, and He alone sees the end result of it all. I just have to remember that, and trust Him, no matter how blindly I am walking through this life. I need to just “sleep”, because we don’t generally worry while asleep, and know that He’s in control!

What a great reminder…

Unsettling…

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Have you ever believed something to be true your whole life, and then come to discover that, in fact, it is not true? Rather unsettling, isn’t it? I am dealing with that right now in regards to some Middle East conflicts, and I am determined to discover the truth about these happenings, even though that means changing what I’ve always held to be true. More info on this later, as I process it all…