Tag: Life

New Perspective…Part Two.

· 4 Comments ·

(See part one here…)

Yesterday, as I was talking with a dear friend about her potential job opportunities (very prestigious and impressive jobs for which she is perfectly suited), all of the above-mentioned things started to run through my head. As I listened to her speak, I realized that I, too, long to be admired for what I can do–for my God-given gifts and abilities, for what I worked so hard to accomplish in college/post-college. I long to be known as someone who “did something” with her life, whatever that even means. I, too, tend to put my value and self-worth in my career, in how people view me, and what I’ve done, which explains so much about why I have felt so miserable in recent jobs. That hasn’t changed since 2001.

But you know what has changed? In the past year, my desire to be a mother (a stay-at-home one, at that) has increased exponentially (considering that I never saw myself doing that, it wasn’t hard for it to increase drastically). I have come to realize that raising children to love Jesus and to be productive members of society is the greatest possible career that I could ever have. What a stark contrast to how I felt even one year ago.

And last night, it became very clear that God has used the circumstances of the past few years to prepare me for being a mom (No, this is not a pregnancy announcement 🙂 ). From what I hear, being a mother is often a “thankless” job as you continuously and often sacrificially serve your children. Someday, they might recognize the amazing job you did to prepare them for life and to take care of them, but humans are naturally born selfish. They aren’t going to say “thanks, mom, for changing my diaper so that I don’t get diaper rash” or “thanks, mom, for staying up all night with me when I was sick”…that’s just how it goes. They don’t care how accomplished you are and they certainly aren’t going to marvel over your talents. Being a mother is going to require humility, sacrifice, unconditional love, and lots of grace…and I know now that I am much better equipped for motherhood because of the circumstances of the past few years.

Much of the past twelve years makes so much sense now. I was in desperate need of humility, and God brought circumstances into my life to teach me how to be humble. I wish I had been a faster learner! Haha. Not that I’m completely humble–definitely not. But, given where I was in 2001, I have come a long way and my perspective has completely changed. I was so unaware of the grip that pride was holding on my life!

I now view the word “rewarding” completely differently. It no longer means being recognized and praised–it means offering recognition and praise expecting nothing in return, all for the benefit of others.

So, now I have something new to embrace, and something hard with which to grapple. God doesn’t want me to be “famous”–He wants me to make disciples, including my own future children.

I need to remind myself constantly that it doesn’t matter what the world thinks of me, and it doesn’t matter if they notice how “awesome” I might happen to be…

What matters is that I live my life according to the Gospel, and that I share it with others at every opportunity.

What matters is that I find ways to use my God-given gifts and talents to further the Kingdom of God, especially within my own household, without doing it selfishly or for recognition.

What matters are the eternal things, not the temporal.

What matters is that my value and self-worth come from God alone and not from anything that I have done or will do.

Thirty…

· Leave a comment ·

It doesn’t feel possible that I’ve already lived for thirty years on this earth…but at 1:36pm PST today that will be true.

Thirty sounds “old” (and IS old to our MHS boys, haha), but I know that it really isn’t. For some reason, this feels like more of a milestone than 20 was, though…

Of course, there are advantages to turning thirty: I can now be a U.S. Senator. 🙂

It just doesn’t seem possible that it’s been 11.5 years since high school graduation, 7.5 years since college graduation, and 4.5 years since I moved to Pennsylvania.

Life truly is an adventure! I feel like I have experienced so much during these first thirty years, and I really don’t have any regrets. To name a few of my favorite parts…

  • I have a relationship with Jesus!
  • I have the world’s best family, I’m convinced 🙂 I love them dearly and am so blessed.
  • I am married to the most wonderful, loving, generous man.
  • We now own a home together where we will raise our family in the future.
  • Our only remaining debts are student loans and a mortgage. MAJOR accomplishment.
  • I have been blessed with rich, vibrant, authentic friendships.
  • I have had the privilege of traveling to six countries, three continents, and thirty-four states.
  • I am continually growing in my music and photography skills, and I LOVE to use both talents.
  • I have a bachelor’s degree in Political Science and History. I may not use the degree, but I am thankful for it.

The only goals that I really have thus far for this decade are to see the remaining 16 states, be healthier than ever before, and to continue to grow in my marriage and in my relationship with Jesus.

I truly cannot wait to see what the next thirty years hold as I continue living the life with which God has blessed me.

Tomorrow is Never Guaranteed…

· Leave a comment ·

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a blog that has impacted me deeply. I found the blog because the author–Ryan–was nominated by someone for a “Love Bomb“–a weekly ministry of people from all over the world who leave hundreds of comments to encourage someone going through tough times. Each week, someone is nominated and we all read a few posts, comment, and pray for the person/family. It usually only takes 5-10 minutes of my time, but sometimes I just can’t stop reading these blogs. They sometimes end up being part of my “Google Reader” so that I can continue to read updates and pray. The blog in this post is one of them.

The blog that was nominated a few weeks ago was this one. Ryan is young (I think he’s my age or younger) and dying of cancer. The doctors have given him 3-6 months to live. He has a beautiful wife and two gorgeous children, and his blog discusses this strange and awful journey of preparing for what seems to be a certain death in a very short period of time. Of course, they are praying for a miracle (and I am, too!), but they are also preparing for “life without Ryan”. Most recently, this included buying a new car so that his wife would have reliable transportation if/when Ryan passes away. They also went as a family to Disneyland last month to create memories as a family that their kids will remember always. He loves his wife SO much and it is apparent in everything that he writes.

Unlike some blogs that discuss similar situations, this one is not depressing and morbid. Rather, it is realistic and somehow upbeat despite the subject matter. He is open about his faith and even wrote a great post about why he doesn’t blame God for his cancer. Ryan and his wife’s brave approach to all of this is inspiring and challenging. It has made me wonder which is worse: knowing approximately how long until you die, or having death come suddenly…I think knowing would be worse.

I will admit that I have shed tears over these blog posts. I cannot imagine being told that I had 3-6 months to live when I’m not even 30 years old yet. Even worse, knowing that I’d be leaving behind a spouse and children. It has caused me to think through what it would be like if Brennan were no longer here and what life would look like.  Or, what Brennan’s life would look like if I weren’t here.

And because of that, it has changed how I view our marriage. Our marriage is healthy, happy, love-filled and relatively new, so it’s not that I suddenly had a 180 degree turn or anything like that; but it has caused me to treat each day as if it could be our last (which is true) and to be much more thankful for the gift that Brennan is in my life. It is SO easy to become comfortable and to take things for granted, and Ryan’s stories have really made me want to make an effort to NEVER do that. Tomorrow is never a guarantee, and I pray that I approach each day with that in mind.

I wanted to share Ryan’s story because he and his family really need prayer during this time. I also wanted to share because I think his story will have an impact on anyone who reads about him. Please check out his blog and pray for him.

Lessons Learned From Not Speeding…

· 1 Comment ·

A few months ago I made the decision to no longer intentionally drive above the speed limit (note: this only applies while driving in town…I know, I know…for some reason, the interstates are a separate thing in my mind which isn’t right, but that’s how it is right now… 🙂 ) because I realized that it is a sin. It’s become quite the “respectable sin” in our society, and I’ve become increasingly aware of it in my own life.

I’m a California girl. Everyone speeds there. I lived in Southern California for seven years prior to moving to Pennsylvania, and there, if you don’t speed you get run over (on the interstates, at least). It became a way of life…but that is all changing now.

Believe it or not, this didn’t start because of a speeding ticket (I’ve only had two in my entire life, and neither of them were recent).

This started because we live on a road where the speed limit is 25 miles per hour. And there are great reasons for that speed limit: the road is narrow, it’s a neighborhood, there are children, and there are many hidden driveways all along our road. However, because people often use our road to bypass part of Hersheypark Drive, they are always flying down our road.

Having lived here for six months now, it has come to irritate me greatly. It took me awhile to put words to my irritation, but here’s what it comes down to: disrespect. I felt disrespected by the non-residents flying down my road.

This led me to realize that whenever we speed, we are being disrespectful both to the residents of that area AND to the local law enforcement officials…and to God. So, I decided to stop.

It has been a process, and I’ve learned a few things along the way:

1–I care FAR too much about what strangers think of me… 

It is amazing how much I’ve been tempted to speed because someone gets really close to my tail and I get anxious–not because of safety, but because I don’t want them to (1) think I’m a bad driver or (2) get angry and call me names that I can’t hear anyway. It sounds ridiculous written out, but it’s true! Why on earth do I/we care so much about strangers being upset with us because we are obeying the law? (Working on this…)

2–It is AMAZING how many people speed…

I can honestly say that I’ve felt very isolated in my quest to obey the law. Related to number one, it is amazing how many times I’ve been passed in recent months…and it has been humbling. And it has surprised me, because the local police here in Harrisburg/Hershey are ALWAYS looking to catch speeders. Always. I think they’re bored 😉  But seriously, I didn’t realize before just how many people choose to disobey the speed limits continually.

3–Speeding doesn’t really save that much time…

That’s an argument I hear quite a bit from those who choose to speed–that it saves them time. From my observations lately, unless you’re doing 100 mph, you will likely not save more than a couple of minutes. Yesterday I was passed by someone on a two lane highway who was in SUCH a hurry…we got to our destination at the exact same time due to lights and other cars ahead of him doing the speed limit. 🙂 And yes, that made me happy inside. Working on that, too.

I’m sure there will be more lessons learned as I continue my quest to not speed…but this is what I’ve learned thus far.

Sacrificing the Good for the Great…

· Leave a comment ·

When I read the book “Radical Together” by David Platt, among the MANY awesome quotes that I wrote down, there was one quote that really resonated with me:

“We must be willing to sacrifice good things in the church in order to experience the great things of God.” (page 9)

What a profound statement that encapsulates so many of the issues I see in the Church in America today…we are so focused on programs and entertainment rather than being missional and building the Church like Jesus did, and it is detrimental in so many ways. Simple is the way to go. We have to be willing to let go of “good things” to make room for what God wants to do.

I also think we can rephrase this slightly to apply more broadly to our lives:
 
“We must be willing to sacrifice good things in life in order to experience the great things of God.”

“Sacrificing the good for the great” is a phrase you will hear in our home quite often these days, because it has really challenged how we approach life and it’s helping us to learn to say “no” much more. It has helped us to look at our lives with a long-term perspective rather than focusing on the “instant gratification” that is so pervasive in our society.

What does this currently look like in our daily lives?

  • Sacrificing (insert item/activity here) for the “great” of being debt free in a year. Financial freedom will allow us to more freely serve God wherever He leads, so we’re running with “gazelle intensity” toward that goal.
  • Sacrificing that piece of cake/junk food for the “great” of losing weight and being healthy.
  • Sacrificing (insert activity here) for the “great” of having a strong and healthy marriage due to time invested in each other.
  • “Sacrificing” every other weekend to be relief houseparents at the Milton Hershey School for the “great” of investing in the lives of these precious children.

Taking the time to evaluate where we are spending our time and money has really changed our perspective…and I’m really excited to see what God does as we continue to seek to serve Him more fully with our resources.

Updated: So, you want to try mystery shopping?

· Leave a comment ·

(updated on 11/16/2012)

I completed my 422nd mystery shop yesterday (since March 2011), and since I’m always getting questions about this field, I thought I’d update this blog post and repost it. 🙂

First of all, it is a real thing. The most common question I’ve been asked is, “That’s real? I thought it was fake!” It is real. There are tons of scams out there, of course, but there are hundreds of legitimate companies.

You should NEVER pay to join a company! That indicates a scam. Any company asking you to wire money is also a scam.

How do you know if the company is legitimate? Go to the MSPA’s website and find out. MSPA is the Mystery Shopping Providers Association. They represent all of the real companies and list them on their site for your convenience.

They also offer certification levels which help you, the mystery shopper, receive better jobs and often higher paying jobs, because the certification shows that you are serious. I have the MSPA Silver Certification and am thinking about achieving Gold status simply because I’ve seen the benefits of silver, so I know that gold must be great!

Secondly, don’t expect to get rich, but DO expect to eat lots of free meals (after reimbursement) and experience new things! We’ve made about $6,800 so far (not including reimbursements), and it has been a tremendous blessing. These shops often turn into date nights because Brennan is my “partner in crime” whenever he is allowed to go with me (some shops stipulate that you must go alone).

Now that I’ve done over 400, I know which shops I like and which ones I will only do if they offer me bonus pay or beg me. I know which mystery shopping companies I prefer (out of the 50+ with whom I am registered), and I know which ones are a pain to work for (there are a few). I have done shops in retail, fast food, fast casual food, hospitality, auto sales and service, etc. And each one has taught me very different skills. I’ve test driven a Mercedes, shopped for TVs, and eaten a lot of great food. 🙂

Favorite shop so far? Getting to see U2 for FREE. It was also the hardest shop that we’ve done so far, but totally worth it! We’ve also done hotels (where we get to stay for free), football games (next week, actually…college football on Black Friday!), movie theatres, etc.

I have also learned what various retail establishments require of their employees when it comes to customer service, and I have much higher expectations now for how I am treated and how I am helped.

It is very helpful to sign up with multiple companies simply because each one has very different clients, and depending on where you live, it may be helpful in getting shops to do. In Central PA, there aren’t as many opportunities as Southern California, for example. Most companies send out emails when there are shops available in your area, so you don’t have to check daily for opportunities. I am signed up with 50+ companies, but only actively shop for about 10. I just like having more options available to me.

Here are a few companies I would recommend starting with (in no particular order):

Corporate Research International: http://www.mysteryshops.com 

CRI has you watch a video presentation on how to do effective mystery shopping that is actually entertaining and incredibly helpful. I just signed up with them this week and had to watch it, and it even helped me–an “experienced” shopper! Honestly, this company annoys me with their process, but their training is good and they have a great variety. Their commissions start REALLY low, so wait until they are raised before doing the shops.

Market Force: http://www.applymarketforce.com 

Intelli-Shop: http://www.intelli-shop.com

BARE International (if you want to sign up with them, send me your email address and I’ll refer you. They offer bonuses for referrals!)

Reality Based Reports: http://www.realitybasedreports.com/index.norm.php 

Ritter Associates: http://www.ritterassociates.com

Bestmark: http://www.bestmark.com

Second-to-None: http://www.second-to-none.com

As you get more involved, you’ll learn which companies service which retailers/restaurants, etc. I can’t tell you which ones they do (confidentiality), but you can figure it out!

If you have any questions, please let me know. It is a lot of fun, it sharpens your memory and observation skills, and you’ll earn a little extra cash. 🙂

IMPORTANT NOTE: You will have to pay taxes on earnings over $600, so I advise that you keep a detailed spreadsheet (ask to see mine if you are serious about this) detailing where you shopped, when, your expenses (reimbursed and non-reimbursed), mileage, which mystery shopping company, the date you were paid. This also helps me remember when to do shops and to make sure that I get paid for each one of them. And, it will help at tax time. So far this year, because of mileage (which is $0.555 cents per mile credit per the IRS as of 07/01/11), I’ve profited $200 according to the IRS. 🙂

Penne Pasta with Spring Vegetables

· Leave a comment ·

Cooking used to frustrate me somewhat…and it took me quite a while to figure out why.

Though I am organized (i.e. almost a control freak) in essentially every other aspect of my life, I would leave dinner plans to the last-minute, always leaving me frustrated because I would feel pressure to put something together quickly. It didn’t really occur to me until the past month or so that if I plan ahead, the stress would go away!  I know, I know…this was a “duh” moment for me.

I decided to start grocery shopping every two weeks (with the exception, of course, of small trips if something was forgotten) and making a meal list for that time period. The list isn’t rigid–meaning that I don’t have a specific recipe for a specific day (which would drive me crazy)…but it gives me enough guidance that I can come home, look at a short list (rather than a large cookbook) and make my decision. It has helped tremendously!

I feel like a much better wife when I am prepared, because Brennan can come home from work and have dinner ready for him after a long day of work. Not that he has EVER complained or said a word–I just have goals/expectations for myself that I don’t always meet. 🙂 I am so blessed to have a husband who has never once disliked anything that I have made, and who is always appreciative of my efforts!

I’ve also started a small binder where I type out/cut out recipes that I actually use, which helps when it comes to meal planning because I own 15-20 cookbooks…and that is slightly overwhelming. But, I definitely don’t use all of those recipes, so I’ve started collecting the ones that I do use. I have a section specifically for “crock pot” recipes, which is EXTREMELY helpful to have with our crazy schedules!

Anyway…tonight I made a recipe that we had picked up at our company’s “Wellness Fair” recently, and it was not only good, it was very healthy and nutritious! So I decided that I should share…

I did not create this recipe, but I’m not sure who should get the credit.

Penne Pasta with Spring Vegetables

Ingredients: 

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

1/2 cup chopped onion

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 lb asparagus, trimmed, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved

2 cups yellow squash

3/4 cup fat-free chicken broth

1/8 tsp ground black pepper

1/8 tsp salt (optional)

1 box (16 oz) penne pasta

6 fresh basil leaves, cut into thick strips

1/4 cup parmesan cheese (optional)

Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; cook 3 minutes, stirring frequently.

Add asparagus; cook 3 minutes.

Add tomatoes and squash; cook 3 minutes or until tomatoes are softened.

Add chicken broth; reduce heat to simmer and continue cooking 5 minutes. Season with salt/pepper.

Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Add pasta and basil to vegetable mixture; toss to combine. Serve with freshly grated parmesan cheese, if desired.

I’ve been told that I need to blog more…

· 1 Comment ·

…so here goes. 🙂

I used to be so good about blogging and journaling. I’m not sure what has changed, or why I’ve found it so easy to just not write at all. However, I realize that it is an important exercise and I need to be writing things down so that I don’t forget what has happened.

Life has been GREAT. Not challenge-free, of course, but truly great. We can’t complain.

Most recently…we got nearly 10 inches of snow this past weekend. The last time that our region had an October snow was in 1972, and they received 2 inches. So, to say that this was record-breaking is an understatement. I’m having a hard time thinking about winter coming, so I’m not going to take the next few weeks of 50-60 degree weather for granted! Here in Hershey we are definitely ready for “normal” weather for our area…not 70+ inches of rain in a year!

Brennan and I are LOVING living in Hershey. We are SO close to work, we have great neighbors, we love our new place, and it’s been an absolute blessing to live here already. It’s amazing how God brings us exactly what we need!

We are five days away from celebrating our first anniversary…and I am amazed at how this year has flown! A year ago, I was in Red Bluff, crazy busy, just ready to be married and have the wedding planning/executing over and done. Now, we are happily married, enjoying every day, and are SO thankful to be done with wedding craziness! 🙂 We’re celebrating our anniversary on Friday/Saturday by staying at a very nice place, and we will eat our (currently frozen) cake and sip our apple cider (from the wedding) on Sunday. It’s going to be a restful, wonderful weekend, celebrating the blessings of our loving Lord who brought us together!

We are praying through several decisions right now in terms of ministry opportunities, and it’s really exciting to see what God is bringing our way.

We’re being very intentional about slowing down our schedule and spending more time at home, which has been very good for me. I’ve literally started writing down “stay at home” days on my calendar because I have a tendency to fill up every spare minute with some activity…and I’m worn out. It’s incredibly difficult, but I’m getting better at just relaxing at home every once in a while!

Speaking of resting, I finally sought out medical assistance for my knee which was injured on November 20, 2008 in a car accident. I have an MRI on Thursday morning to determine the next course of action, which may be surgery if it is indeed a tear. God is in control, and we are trusting Him with logistics (living/working on the second floor, for instance)and finances!

God is at work all around us, all the time, and I’m loving watching Him work. When I moved to Harrisburg in 2008, I never expected to find such diversity here in terms of people and countries represented. But, I am constantly finding out about other cultures who are making their home here–such as Haitian refugees, Burmese refugees, etc. And I love it! God is bringing people from all over the U.S. to Harrisburg to plant churches and to reach out missionally to these people, and I am excited for us to be part of this!

Brennan and I are heading to California in January to celebrate Christmas…two weeks late. Why? Because we are saving $800 in air fare! It is incredibly expensive to fly anywhere at Christmas-time, but especially to California since it’s such a tourist destination. So, we decided to think outside the box and found tickets for $400 total roundtrip for BOTH of us! God is so good! I can’t wait to see my family!

It’s been a great first year of marriage, and I can’t wait for each one to follow.

Three Years…

· Leave a comment ·

Just a few thoughts on this Monday morning…

Time seems to crawl so slowly as you are living day by day, but when you look back it is amazing how fast it seems to fly. This year marks ten years since high school graduation, nine years since my first summer in Williamsport, PA as a missionary, six years since college graduation, and three years of living in Pennsylvania.

Three years.

It truly feels like yesterday that I packed everything into my car and headed across the country with my mom, taking our time to enjoy the beauty of the United States. It doesn’t seem possible that it has been three years now.

In those three years, I have changed SO much. I am still trying to figure out what “career” fits me best, but determined two years ago that politics are not for me. That’s a huge change from who I used to be.

I traveled to Haiti last May and was forever changed by the realities there…I will never look at wealth/poverty the same way again. I traveled to Brazil last May and my church planting philosophy was forever changed…I want to plant churches the way that Jesus did: by being missional, not attractional. 

I’ve had one full-time job, two part-time jobs (at the same time), have been a temp and have been unemployed.  I’ve moved three times already (not including the move to PA) and will move again in September.

I’ve grown in my photography skills and have learned what I like to photograph and what I don’t enjoy.

I’ve established incredible friendships with godly, supportive, encouraging women here, unlike any friendships I’ve ever known. They have blessed my life in countless ways and have helped me grow through challenges.

And, perhaps the most obvious change: I am married. Eight months after moving across the country, following God’s calling, I met my now husband. How amazing our God is–that when we follow His call and live according to His Will, He blesses us more richly than we could ever imagine! We have grown so much as a couple in the past nine months of marriage, and I am SO excited about the growth to come! Brennan is my greatest support, my best-friend, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Pennsylvania is my mission field. This is where God has called me to serve Him and to build His Kingdom. I came here with only that purpose in mind, a purpose from which I have strayed in the past year. I’ve allowed life to become “too busy” and realized recently that I need to constantly remind myself that I am here to help plant churches, to proclaim Jesus in every aspect of my life, and to bring glory to Him and Him alone through my actions/activities. Everything else needs to take second place to my mission here, now “our” mission here.

Three years…and what a fabulous journey these years have been.

Dignity…

· 2 Comments ·

Today was my third “hair donation” in the past five years (January 2007, September 2008, January 2011). I donated 9.5 inches this time–the first time was 10 inches, and the second time was 9. It’s so strange to barely be able to get my hair into a ponytail after having such LONG hair for the past six months. But, I love doing this!

I started growing my hair out and donating it because of women in my family who had started to do it (including my mom and my cousin Melanie–I know there are more…). I realized that this was such an easy way to help restore a woman’s dignity during her chemotherapy treatments and the resultant hair loss…

For the first donation (2007), my cousin Kristin and my friend Dannylle did it with me. We road-tripped up to NorCal for the weekend and donated our hair.

The second time was two months after I moved to Pennsylvania…and I don’t have any pictures of that process because I did it impulsively one day (and should have waited a couple of months). This was taken a couple of days afterward (with my former roommate).

This time, I had hoped to wait until April so that it would be slightly longer, and slightly warmer outside. 🙂 But, I got to the point where it just “had to go”, and my wonderful friend was able to cut it for me today!

Brennan and I have a cousin with cancer, and she just got her wig a little while ago…we saw her yesterday, and it renewed within me my desire to do this as long as I am able.

I really don’t say any of this to sound like I’m bragging–because I’m not. Not at all. I am just deeply moved by these women who are fighting such a terrible disease and have to lose their hair (a source of dignity and self-worth for women). If I can do something as simple as grow out my hair, I want to do it! 🙂

It takes an average of six donated ponytails to make one wig.

Consider doing this–yes, it takes a while, but it’s SO worth it! 🙂