This weekend has been planned since October. It was paid for, arranged, and anticipated. Tori and I were going to go to the retreat together, since all the ladies were so excited to meet her.

And then all of this happened.
I didn’t want to come at first. I was ready to cancel so that I could stay home with my baby girl. Since Southwest allows you to cancel without consequence, I was ready.
I kept thinking about how I would be leaving her for three full days. How we don’t know how many full days we have left with her. That alone made me want to just stay home.
But, in his wisdom, Brennan insisted that I go. He offered to take care of her and then my mom offered to stay longer to help him. 
My husband knows how weary and exhausted I am. He knows I haven’t had a break from her for more than a few hours since she was born. And he knows that, emotionally, I just need to get away so that I can be refreshed and ready to take on whatever comes our way.
It is true that we don’t know how many days we have left with her, but as I have prayed and pondered this situation, I have realized that I will never have “enough” time with her. Three days won’t make a difference if God takes her home to be with Him. I  will always want and need more time.
And so, I am on my way to Charleston, to spend the weekend in a beach house with nine other women from all over the eastern United States. By myself. With my camera, ready to capture everything I see. I haven’t used my camera much since she was born, and I have been longing to photograph something (besides her beautiful face). 
Thank you, Brennan, for “making” me go this weekend. We both know I need it. ❤️

12 thoughts on “Charleston-bound

  1. Have a wonderful, rejuvenating, relaxing time. Your husband is so kind to give you a little respite– and it will be a special time for him to spend with Tori (plus some extra Grandma help) Please post some of your photography! I would love to see it!


  2. While I know you will miss your family terribly, sometimes a Mom just needs some time to themselves to reflect, relax, rejuvenate, and rest. It will do your body, mind, and soul some good. It is hard to be a constant caregiver and sometimes you need that “me” time in order to keep forging ahead with what life throws at you. Safe travels and I hope you’ll share some of your photographs when you return.


  3. God blesses us in so many incredibly wonderful ways. You must be a beautifully strong woman for Him to trust you with His gift.
    His mother was also strong. She held so many things in her heart and many times must have been broken before those final moments she had with Him before witnessing His death on the cross.
    I grieve for you and your family. Know that Tori has an angel that sees the face of God. Her life and yours are immeasurably entwined like that three-corded strand and your lives in Christ serve to glorify God.
    Thank you so very much for shouldering your cross with such grace. My knee pads are worn flat, my heart aches for you all, and our God reigns! Peace.


    1. I lost my daughter in a car accident seven years ago at the age of 21 as she was literally on her way to church at a training site preparing to serve as a long term missionary in Spain and Africa. As a mother who feels Lesa’s pain and prays for her in her current circumstances, I want to thank you for your God-inspired words of comfort, hope, and truth. In all my years of reading blogs, no entry has touched my heart like what you just posted, and I’m sure Lesa will be blessed by your words as well.


  4. Praying for you to have safe travel, beautiful weather, and a wonderful time with your friends. God knows your needs and it feels like He is providing you this time away so He can refresh you physically and spiritually. Go, trusting that just as He provides what you need, He will also provide for Brennan, your mother, and Tori while you are away.God bless you and keep you all.


  5. You are such an inspiration…….you deserve to have the best relaxing time that you possibly can. I hope you enjoy.


  6. So glad you have this opportunity and that your husband realizes how much you need to get away! ENJOY! Breathe in the scent of the seashore and relax to the sound of the waves! Praying God will totally refresh you!


  7. Incredibly happy that you get to be with these women. I pray you will be refreshed and renewed through their hugs, prayers, and simple presence. Brennan, I pray you will find joy in this weekend as well.


  8. Good for you! Praying our heavenly Father meets you so intimately this weekend as you are away. As well, praying for sweet time for your husband with your daughter. To God be the glory, great things he has done!


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