This weekend has been planned since October. It was paid for, arranged, and anticipated. Tori and I were going to go to the retreat together, since all the ladies were so excited to meet her.
And then all of this happened.
I didn’t want to come at first. I was ready to cancel so that I could stay home with my baby girl. Since Southwest allows you to cancel without consequence, I was ready.
I kept thinking about how I would be leaving her for three full days. How we don’t know how many full days we have left with her. That alone made me want to just stay home.
But, in his wisdom, Brennan insisted that I go. He offered to take care of her and then my mom offered to stay longer to help him.
My husband knows how weary and exhausted I am. He knows I haven’t had a break from her for more than a few hours since she was born. And he knows that, emotionally, I just need to get away so that I can be refreshed and ready to take on whatever comes our way.
It is true that we don’t know how many days we have left with her, but as I have prayed and pondered this situation, I have realized that I will never have “enough” time with her. Three days won’t make a difference if God takes her home to be with Him. I will always want and need more time.
And so, I am on my way to Charleston, to spend the weekend in a beach house with nine other women from all over the eastern United States. By myself. With my camera, ready to capture everything I see. I haven’t used my camera much since she was born, and I have been longing to photograph something (besides her beautiful face).
Thank you, Brennan, for “making” me go this weekend. We both know I need it. ❤️