I’ve been open about my deconstruction of evangelicalism over the past few years. It continues, and in many ways, it has become even clearer as time has passed.
The root of my deconstruction is the absence of love.
And in my deconstruction, I have rediscovered my faith.
As followers of Jesus, we are told by Him to obey two commandments:
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
– Matthew 22: 27-40
He doesn’t tell us to force people to live our way. He doesn’t tell us to try to control others and how they live their lives.
He says to LOVE them as we love ourselves.
Later on, Paul expounds upon the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13:
If I could speak all the languages of earth and
1 Corinthians 13
of angels, but didn’t love others,
I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I had the gift of prophecy,
and if I understood all of God’s secret plans
and possessed all knowledge,
and if I had such faith that I could move mountains,
but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.
If I gave everything I have to the poor
and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;
but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages
and special knowledge will become useless.
But love will last forever!
Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete,
and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture!
But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child.
But when I grew up, I put away childish things.
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror,
but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.
All that I know now is partial and incomplete,
but then I will know everything completely,
just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—
and the greatest of these is love.
We are taught to live out the fruits of the spirit:
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives:
Galatians 5:22-23
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
There is no law against these things!
We are taught by Jesus to care for the poor and the refugee, over and over again.
In His Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), Jesus says incredibly countercultural things, things that I see conveinently being ignored for the sake of power:
The Beatitudes
“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
Later on in the same chapter (Matthew 5:43-47), He addresses loving our neighbors again:
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that.
This is love.
So, when I see evangelicals living the exact opposite way and praising leaders who do, it creates an internal crisis. Jesus never commanded people to follow Him or to live like Him – He gave them the option. He didn’t force them to do anything – in fact, He let them walk away.
This is why Christian Nationalism is repulsive and so unlike Jesus.
The Lord has told you what is good,
Micah 6:8
and this is what he requires of you:
to do what is right, to love mercy,
and to walk humbly with your God.
Christians – can you truthfully say that the current government leaders and the actions they are taking are Christlike? Do you see these elements of love? Or do you see an absence of it? Can you fill in the “love passage” with their names honestly?
“Trump/Vance/Musk is patient…”
“Kicking out lawful refugees is kind…”
“Removing any indication of race and ethnicity is loving.”
“Removing equal education opportunties for all is merciful…”
“Threatening judges who are upholding the law is just…”
I will never understand this loyalty in the name of Jesus to someone who acts nothing like Him. Whose policies are so unbiblical. Who is so unloving to the least of these. This self-inflicted wound by the church has caused incredible harm and damage, and it will take generations to recover from it.
This is what is driving so many of us away from American Evangelicalism. It’s the hypocrisy, the lack of adherence to the words of Jesus, the thirst for revenge for those different from us. It’s the rising racism and the justification of cruelty. Christian Nationalism looks nothing like Jesus.
So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other.
John 13:34-35
Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.
Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.
The absence of love is hate. And I refuse to decide to not love my neighbor because they believe differently from me.
Even So, Joy 