Category: Serving Others

True Selflessness

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Intense love does not measure, it just gives.
– Mother Teresa

I always knew that motherhood would be a selfless endeavor. From the very beginning, your body, your time, your thoughts, everything revolves around, and belongs to, your children. Before I became a mother I had an idea about what it looked like to be selfless and I knew I could handle it with the Lord’s help. After all, a mother’s love is one of the strongest forces on earth, and I was ready for the challenges.

I had no idea just how “selfless” my life would become when Tori became sick.

By the way, I don’t write this (or any other post) to invite pity or sympathy, or even accolades. Rather, I continually strive to be transparent during this journey in hopes that someone will be encouraged or challenged by how the Lord is speaking to our hearts and working in our lives.

Here’s my reality and a glimpse into my daily life with a terminally-ill child.

I haven’t had more than 5 full nights of sleep (defined as 5 straight hours) since Tori was born. To say that I am exhausted is an understatement.

When she was healthy, the sleep deprivation was bearable because she was such a joy, such a delight. I didn’t mind nursing her every two or three hours because she was always so happy, so content. Watching her learn and grow filled my heart with enough energy to endure the sleepless nights (and days). Her smile and laughter would fill my heart with a palpable joy and my heart would overflow with love. That was my reward and it filled me up like nothing (except the Lord) ever has.

When she was healthy, I was still able to do things for myself (like shower and eat a good lunch) because she was content to play with her toys on her own and would nap without being held for 20-30 minutes at a time. I could still take care of our home and do things for myself like shop, read, eat meals, etc.

My view of what selflessness means changed drastically in January 2015.

“For even the Son of Man (Jesus) came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:45

My days are a blur, much like the lives of those with healthy babies, but there is no tangible “reward” for my selfless service anymore.

My days now revolve around medication and feeding schedules, appointments with specialists and Early Intervention (which is a WONDERFUL program and I am so thankful that our tax dollars go to pay for this), and keeping Tori comfortable, which usually means rocking her in our recliner most of the day.

If I am lucky (or if someone comes over to hold Tori), I can take a five minute shower while Tori stares at her light-up giraffe on her changing table (it has rails and she doesn’t roll, so she is completely safe).

Eating doesn’t always happen – at least not healthy eating.

I rarely leave the house because Tori doesn’t like being in the car and we aren’t sure if she is in pain while in the car seat. Thankfully, I just discovered that our local grocery store will deliver groceries for a nominal fee (and the first 60 days are free). What an amazing blessing this service will be.

Doing simple things for myself usually doesn’t happen at all these days. As much as I want to work on her Project Life album, read my Bible (not on my phone), or even CLEAN MY HOUSE (yes, I actually long to do normal things like that now), they just don’t happen until Brennan is home for the evening, if at all. And even then, I struggle between wanting to clean my house/do things for myself, and wanting to spend time as a family doing other things.

I don’t think about how little I am doing for myself very often, and when I do, it is then that I am overwhelmed by the energy my life currently requires. I went from such an easygoing, low maintenance life (even with a baby) to a life that is so high maintenance that it is overwhelming at times.

I don’t like this, I don’t want this, and I keep praying it’s all a nightmare.

Yet, I don’t think about how hard it is as I am living it – I just do it.

Though my priorities have shifted drastically in the past three months, I know that I have to find a balance because I need to take care of myself while also caring for Tori. Now that her G-Tube surgery is complete and her appointments outside the home are slowing down, I am hoping to have more time to figure out how to accomplish these things.

Through all of this, I am continually learning to praise the Lord in the midst of these difficult and unwanted circumstances because I know that He is using them to refine me and to make me more like Jesus.

Does this mean I like what is happening? No.

Does this mean that I am a perfect Christian mother and entirely unselfish? Ha. Definitely not.

But, I trust that He is redeeming this terrible situation in ways we can’t even imagine. I trust that I will be a more loving and selfless person because of all that we are going through.

It’s a moment by moment process of surrendering my own desires for what is best for Tori. It isn’t easy, I’m not perfect at it, but thankfully we serve a God who showed us what selflessness looks like when He sent His son, Jesus, to our world two thousand years ago, and that same God is just as full of love, grace and mercy today as He was then.

Philippians 2:2-11

2 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

6 Though he was God,[a]
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];
    he took the humble position of a slave[c]
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,[d]
8     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

I live my life with my “hands empty, eyes up” and I “do the next thing” (both of those quotes were topics that were discussed at the “Night to Breathe” event and I will be writing more about them in the future). I surrender my exhaustion and my fear to the Lord and He sustains me. Most days, I have no idea how I got through it all, and that is a huge testament to God’s constant presence in our lives.

I don’t know what the future holds for our little family, and I am overwhelmed when I think about what may be coming our way. So I choose to live moment by moment, day by day, and I do whatever I can to serve my daughter as selflessly as I can, knowing that she is suffering more than I can begin to imagine, and knowing that Jesus Himself lived a completely selfless life to redeem us and be our perfect example. It truly is the least that I can do.

What TO say and do for parents of terminally-ill children…

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My friend Sharon has been living with chronically-ill children for eighteen years now. She, more than anyone I personally know, can completely relate to our situation, and she offered the following advice to me right after Tori was diagnosed. I read it again last night and realized just how right she is.

Since so many ask how they can help parents like us, I wanted to share her wisdom. We are so thankful for the support and help we have received from family, friends, and even strangers!

_______________________

Support is important, but the one thing I personally hate is pity – PLEASE do not pity someone – please do not. Feel the hurt that they feel, feel the pain that they feel;  but, my son is still my son — I would never give him back.  I have had him for almost 18 years – others I know (unfortunately too many to name) have lost their kids before they reached 18 – BUT they loved every minute of it .

Now – WHAT can you do – or what helps?

1. Extended family and friends play an important and big role in helping children and their immediate families deal with a serious illness.

2. Listen, really listen, to your friend or family member. It’s important for people to tell their story – it helps with processing traumatic situations. So let them talk. Be a good listener. Even if you have no clue about the medical terms they are throwing around – feel free to ask.

3. Send meals. Remember that while they’re in hospitals, the food they have available is usually not great OR healthy. Try to plan for fresh foods, easy to heat up, easy to clean up or have something delivered, like pizza or Chinese.

4. Offer to babysit other children during appointments or accompany them to the appointment if they need someone to sit with them. 

5. Be available to help out in the middle of the night for ER trips and other emergencies.

6. Everyone wants to help immediately, but in a long-term illness, help will be needed for the long term. People get burned out easily so spread out the help so you can be strong for them. Remember, she will still need you in a month, three months, six months, even next year.

7. Offer (don’t just do it) to do things for them that require clearer thinking: contacting school or work, or other friends and family, etc.

8. Offer to be the person to gather mail (either at their house or set up a post office box if they want to keep their address private) and deliver it to them.

9. Use common sense when visiting. If you’ve been sick or feel like you’re getting sick, stay away. If your kid’s been sick, stay away. Your germs can make a compromised child VERY ill.

10. Help set up a notebook/Binder/flash drive to keep important medical information in or scan them for her and put them in a file or flash drive (I do this). A copy of all the paperwork from discharges, diagnoses, medication changes is so helpful and can be taken to all appointments or travels. If they’re out of town and have to go to an ER or urgent care, they have all the information handy and treatment is easier and safer.

11. Research and summarize disease information available on support group websites or ask questions to which you do not know the answers.

12.Be calm and levelheaded for your friend, as at times they will not be able to think clearly, be it from being stressed or overtired…It is okay to be upset, but it helps them for you to be logical, orderly and levelheaded. It’s calming to them and helps them see things that they may not see with everything going on.

13. Offer to pick up medication at the pharmacy while you’re out. If you’re heading to the grocery store, call before and see if they need anything.

14. Gather folks to help clean and disinfect their home before they come home from the hospital, especially if there’s been surgery.

15. Offer to do an overnight stay and let them get some uninterrupted nighttime sleep. Sleeping in the day is fine, but there’s nothing quite like a good 6 hour stretch in the night to make a parent refreshed.

16. Make a gift bag of Lysol, Clorox, wipes, masks for the kid when in public, soaps, and hand sanitizer. When dealing with sick kids, you HAVE to be ultra clean all the time. A cold to you could mean death to a child with compromised immunity.

17. Offer to help with the household chores or pet care. Offer to pay for a cleaning service or dog sitter/walker.

18. Be willing to just sit in the waiting room with your friend. Just having another person present can be a huge stress reliever.

19. If you’re not local and want to help, gift cards are a great idea. Visa or AMEX gift cards can be used almost anywhere and are a good choice if you’re unsure of what stores are local. Starbucks/gas cards/Target/Walmart are also good bets. Mobile gift cards for apps on an iPad or iPod are good, too. If the kid is older, a basket of puzzles, word games, etc.

20. Cards. notes, are wonderful.  The person does not need to respond but they know you are thinking of them. A good gift is a pretty box or basket to keep the cards in. 

21. AND FINALLY, be there for the long term – not just now but several months and years – she will still need support then.

Now here are some thing that should not be done – my pet peeves. I know so many mean well – but try to avoid doing these things.

1. Remember that your friendship and support really matters – it may be a lifeline for your loved one. So, if you say you’re going to help, commit to it. Having someone back out when your child is sick can be more devastating than you can imagine (trust me, I know this all too well first hand – I lost way too many friends and learned who my “real” friends truly were).

2. Don’t visit without checking first, even if it’s something you’ve planned with them in advance. One rough night can lead to a day of exhaustion for everyone, and they might not be up to visitors.

3. Don’t visit if you’ve recently been sick, feel like you may be getting sick, or your child has been sick. Your germs can make someone with a weakened immune system very ill.

4. Don’t prolong the visit. Watch for cues from the parent or the child that it’s time to wrap things up.

5. Don’t say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” It implies that God had a role in the child becoming ill and may make your friend feel as though he or she is being punished. To be honest, this is a big one for me and I still have a hard time dealing with it. It does make one feel like you are being punished.

6. Do not send latex balloons to the hospital. Many people are allergic to the latex in balloons and almost all children’s hospitals are latex free – I know 2 of my boys are allergic to it.

7. Avoid sending flowers. Sure, they’re pretty, but the child won’t care. Worse, if the child’s immune system has been compromised, anything that could cause an allergic reaction or carries bacteria could be life-threatening.

8. Don’t take it personally if your friend doesn’t want to talk. The stress of being a caregiver is overwhelming. Sometimes the best thing to do is just sit there with your friend and let her vent, cry or just sit in silence. Often your presence is enough.

9. Don’t be afraid to reach out with thoughtful phone calls or e-mails, but remember the family is likely overwhelmed and may not be able to respond. But know the thought is appreciated.

10. Don’t give medical advice. You’re not a doctor and you’re certainly not familiar enough with the child’s illness to be making medical calls. Unless you have a chronically ill child you do not know how the parent is feeling. Unless you have been in the parents shoes do not say I know how you feel, as trust me, you do not.

11. Don’t tell them to “chin up” or “cheer up.” They are entitled to their feelings, which may or may not be comfortable for you.

12. Don’t tell horror stories and don’t compare your friend’s child to another who was seriously ill, too. It won’t make anyone feel better. Do not try to compare your child having tubes in his ears or the flu to an incurable disease. Sorry, but things like this will make me (or others) want to strangle you.

13. Unless your child has the exact same diagnosis or has had the same surgery or the like, DO NOT offer unsolicited medical advice.  

14. Do not offer unproven medical advice or opinions.  Do not say “if you do this it will cure your child! I know a parent whose kid was cured of cancer using this herb…” It is not helpful. The best advice you can give is offer to pray or help.

15. The phrases below are not cool. Don’t use ’em. Don’t say:

• “I know JUST how you feel.” (no, you don’t – unless you are in the same boat and, even then, EVERY child is different.)

• “I feel helpless.” (Imagine how your friend feels – exactly – rather be there)

• “You need to talk about it.” (NO I don’t – if we want to talk we will)

• “Here! This is what you should do. I heard about it on Oprah, Dr. Oz, the Doctors.” (who cares what they have to say? They are not my child’s doctor.)

• “I don’t know how you’re managing it all. I’d die if it were me.” (thoughtless! Again, it does not help. No, you would not die and yes, you would be able to deal – it is your child you would love them.  Just because my child has an incurable disease does not mean I love them any less – to be honest, I treasure every minute I am given with them.)

• “Everything is going to be fine.” (you do not know that – and usually not true.)

• “What’s the life expectancy with that?” (morbid! – yes, I may strangle you if you say this.)

Now what should you say instead:

• “Do you need to talk/feel like talking? I’m here to listen.” (doesn’t pressure them to talk right then, but the offer is there – often I would open up after a while. The parent needs to learn who is paying lip service and who really does care what happens to their child.

• How are you/child feeling today?” (since every day is different – and yes, things can change on a daily or hourly basis. As long as you are being sincere this is perfect and simple to do.

• Ask about the disease or diagnosis and maybe look it up so you know more – BUT, do not offer suggestions for treatment. Ask questions, remember the major issues and look them up.

• Talk about care and hope. Talk about how sweet and precious their child is and how much your love them. You should validate the seriousness of the illness by confirming that they are facing something very difficult.

• ” I am heartbroken you and your baby are going through this. Hang in there and know there are so many people who care about you.” Acknowledge that you know your friend is in pain without saying you understand what she is going through.

• Ask the parents how they are doing. After you ask “How are you?” and they respond “I’m fine.” – wait for the truth after they say that. I can tell if you really want to know how I am doing – like I am about to have a break down, or I want to cry or I want to go back in time, etc.

_____________________

Thank you, Sharon, for allowing me to share this here! I know it will help so many people!

Redeeming Grace Church – Guatemala 2014

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God is at work in Guatemala City, and this summer our church’s team will be joining Him there! Our church is headed to Guatemala City for a mission trip! Unfortunately, I will be unable to join them as the trip will be happening on my due date 😉 However, I believe that it is my turn to be the “sender” and to help them get there, so I have taken on many of the administrative aspects of the trip preparation, including fundraising.

There are ten people from Redeeming Grace Church preparing to serve the people of Guatemala City from August 2-9, 2014. They will be going with an organization called Good News in Action – a church planting group that has been serving in Central America for over 40 years. They will be going out each day to meet people in certain Guatemala City neighborhoods and inviting them to events, sharing the Gospel whenever possible, and loving the beautiful people of Guatemala.

As a team, we need to raise about $16,000 to cover our expenses. If you are willing and able to support the team financially, we have set up an online giving page that makes it easy! Donations are tax-deductible (as long as you give us your name), and one-hundred percent of donations received will go to missions!

Please pray about supporting this cause and help be a “sender” of RGC’s team!

Guatemala Stories: How I Became “Team Photographer”

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I found out that I was pregnant on December 6th, 2013. This was welcomed news, but in the back of my mind I was wondering how this was going to impact my ability to serve in Guatemala just two months later. I knew that I would be in the beginning of the second trimester when we left, so in theory I would be feeling well enough and would have the energy to serve; but, I also knew that pregnancy places restrictions on a woman and makes her more “high maintenance” than a non-pregnant woman, so I wasn’t sure what I’d be able to do.

I spoke with one of our team leaders about it and she assured me that there would be plenty for me to do that would still allow me to take care of my baby. What I didn’t realize at the time was that God was planning to use me in a way I never would have expected.

I discovered last summer that my dream job was to do photography for missions organizations…to tell the stories that need to be told and to inspire people to act.

My dream...

I have had the privilege of doing missions photography in Tunisia, Brazil, Haiti and New Orleans in the past…

DSC_0134

…but I didn’t go to Guatemala thinking I would be able to do much with it. We had a full and exciting schedule of service and I was ready to jump right in alongside the team. I hoped that I would be able to take pictures along the way, but it was in no way something I expected to be able to do.

When we got to Guatemala and were talking through the projects for the first few days, our leaders mentioned that they (and many of the team members) wanted shots of several of the group activities that would be going on simultaneously and asked if I would focus on capturing everything for the team during this trip.

I was amazed, humbled, excited, and ready to dive in. I couldn’t believe that I was being asked to use my passion, my gift, my dream to bless the team in such a unique way. 

Because I was taking pictures for everyone, they were able to focus solely on ministering to the beautiful children in our care. They were able to set their cameras aside when necessary in order to just be in the moment, while I did something that I love to do and could do even while pregnant.

I may have been unable to help paint the bedroom or the hallway at Mi Pequeno Refugio.
I may have been unable to lift things and carry boxes of food.
I may have been unable to be outside at The Ravine due to the burning trash and smoke.
But, I was able to use my gift to capture the team doing all of these things while still serving the Lord in Guatemala, just not in the way I had planned.

Thank you, Ronne and Courtney, for seeing this gift in me and allowing me to use it.
Thank you, team, for being so supportive and excited about what I was capturing.

I came home with over 5,800 images of our week. I’m currently down to 3,800 images with the promise of a snow day tomorrow during which I can edit. This experience gave me a glimpse of what it really would be like to do photography for missions organizations, and it confirmed in my heart that this is what I was made to do. I can’t wait for what God has in store for me next!

Guatemala Stories: The Ravine

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“All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all”

We had been told about The Ravine. We had been briefed on what we should expect and the few things we should/shouldn’t do while there.

But, words can only go so far; some things have to be seen, touched, smelled, experienced for full impact to occur. The Ravine is one of those things.

Entrance to The Ravine

The Ravine is a garbage dump in Chimaltenango. There are over 50 families there who live and work among the heaps of garbage, hoping to scrape a living out of the waste of others.

Our team traveled there on Friday morning to bring small bags of staple food items and soap to 50 of these families and to pray with them.

Gathering the families...

Their situation seems hopeless. They have been stuck in the cycle of poverty for generations, with seemingly no way out. Each day is the same: work until dark, hoping to find treasures that can be reused/cleaned/recycled and sold to buy food for their families.

“All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all”

Hope is present...

Hope doesn’t seem to exist here at first glance. However, we have seen first-hand that God is indeed redeeming and restoring these people, starting with their precious children. We saw hope in the eyes of each person with whom we prayed and spoke that day. We saw hope in the eyes of their children when we visited them later that day. He is literally taking them from the ashes and making them new, opening doors to a life they never dreamed would be possible. And this is all because of the love of two precious people: Cesar and Carol.

Cesar and Carol decided that they needed to open a school for the children of The Ravine – a school where they could break free from the cycle of poverty and literally change their community forever. That’s how The Ravine School was born only a little more than a year ago – completely out of faith in God. Carol and Cesar did not have a “nest egg” or any riches to speak of, but they believed in a God who redeems, and had faith that He would rescue these children.

There are now 114 children in The Ravine School who are learning to read, write, use computers, and grasp their full potential instead of carrying on the work of their parents and grandparents in the dump with no hope of escape. From a one room building to a beautiful space with classrooms and plenty of light in only a year, God’s redeeming love and faithfulness is abundant in this place.

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

– Gungor’s “Beautiful Things” (lyrics throughout post) is the perfect song for what God is doing at The Ravine…Hear the song here.

The color and lighting are imperfect due to shooting from inside a vehicle (in order to avoid making the families feel uncomfortable), but these images still show how God is continuing to make beautiful things out of bad situations.

Stay tuned for more about The Ravine School and the beautiful things happening there.

Guatemala Stories: The Avocado Lady

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I first saw her after our first day of ministry at The Ravine School in Chimaltenango.

She was sitting on a stool with her produce to the left of the school’s entrance. She was beautiful, and she was selling my favorite thing: avocados. With my photographer’s eye, I noted the perfect contrast of her green sweater, the green-blue building, her colorful dress, and the gorgeous avocados in the orange basket. I had to take her picture.

I took a few stealthy shots but they weren’t at an ideal angle. Unfortunately, that’s what happens sometimes when trying to be sneaky.

Avocado Lady

I worked up the courage to ask her if I could take her photo, only to be told “no” by this beautiful lady. I respected her wishes and retreated to the van.

I couldn’t get her out of my mind, and as I talked with the other ladies in the van about her, we came up with a plan for the next day to try to win her over – not solely for the purpose of taking her picture, though. We had something bigger in mind.

I mentioned that I would love to buy some of her avocados, and one of my teammates said, “Why don’t we buy ALL of them?” And the plan was set.

As we prepared to leave the school that day, “Avocado Lady” laughed at us silly Americans because we were so excited about a man with two cows walking down the street. That broke the ice a little. I waved to her as we drove away and she was still smiling at us.

Silly Americans, so easily amused...

When we returned to the school the next day, we were so excited about our plan. Sure enough, as soon as school was finished, she was there with her goods, hoping to sell enough to provide for her family.

We approached her and I asked her, in Spanish, how much each avocado cost. She replied that they were 1 Quetzal each (about $0.13). The three of us had decided to give her $20 for all of them, so I held up the money and told her that we wanted to buy them ALL. Her eyes widened and she smiled as she gladly accepted the money. She put the avocados into my teammate’s backpack with a smile on her face the entire time.

To give perspective, had she sold all of her avocados at the normal price, she would have made $4. Most of the time, these ladies who sell produce don’t sell everything that they prepare (fruit in bags, etc.), and it goes to waste. We paid her $0.75 an avocado (a great price here in Pennsylvania!) in an effort to bless her and provide some extra money for her and her family because we could.

Because $20 isn’t a whole lot of money to most Americans, but to a Guatemalan woman who is working hard for pennies a day, it’s an abundant gift (about 150 Q). It was worth every penny to see the gratitude in her eyes. We didn’t just make an impression on her – there were quite a few children around who kept saying (in Spanish) “$20!” and smiling in wonder at the $20 from the strange American women.

After we bought all of her produce, she agreed to let us take a picture with her.

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She may not be smiling in this picture, but she was definitely smiling inside.

Hopefully she decided that these crazy Americans weren’t so bad after all.

Hopefully she’ll wonder what we were doing in the school next door. And if her children aren’t already in school, hopefully that will change.

We decided to give some of the avocados to our team’s drivers, and we gave the rest to the orphanage at which we served that afternoon and the next day so that Papa Cesar could make some more of his famous guacamole for the girls, which made this mutual blessing stretch even further.

I can’t think of a better way to spend $20.

Guatemala-Bound…

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Tomorrow’s the day! I can’t believe it’s already been six months since I began preparing for this journey. I cannot thank all of you enough for your support, prayers, and encouragement! Between your financial generosity and all the supplies you so generously provided, I’m fully-funded and taking FIFTY POUNDS of supplies with me!

For updates on our trip, you can check out this blog  and I will also try to post updates on Facebook when possible.

Here’s our general itinerary:

Sunday, February 2nd – Team arrives in Guatemala City and prepare for ministry (shopping, orientation, supply sorting, etc).
Monday, February 3rd – Team travels to Xela and meets children at Little House of Refuge. There will be cooking classes for the older girls, a cardboard boat regatta for the boys, and playtime for the younger girls.
Tuesday, February 4th – Team serves at Little House of Refuge (project work and teaching in the morning and time with the kids in the afternoon).
Wednesday, February 5th – Team travels to Antigua (a 3-5 hour journey), and has an afternoon of respite before preparing for ministry on Thursday.
Thursday, February 6th – Team distributes food and shares the Gospel at a local garbage dump called “The Ravine” in the morning in Chimatenango (a 45-minute journey), and spends time with the girls at Mi Especial Tesoro in the afternoon.
Friday, February 7th – Team serves at the Ravine School in Chimaltenango in the morning, and spends the afternoon with the girls at Mi Especial Tesoro.
Saturday, February 8th – Team serves alongside girls of Mi Especial Tesoro, ministering to the elderly at Cabacitas de Algodon in the morning, followed by a special farewell lunch. Team returns to Guatemala City in the afternoon.
Saturday, February 9th – Team returns to the United States.
Here is some information about the ministries with which we will be serving, as provided by our team leaders:
Casa Hogar: Mi Pequeño Refugio (Little House of Refuge or Little House) – Xela, Guatemala
(on a map, look for the city of Quetzaltenango)
Pequeño Refugio is a private orphanage run by sisters Lourdes and Teresa. This Christian children’s home houses up to 70 kids at a time ages 4 – 18.  All of the children that reside at “Little House” have been removed from their families due to abuse of some kind.  In addition to the home, there is a school on the property. In addition to education, each child receives psychological counseling and Bible teaching. These children are amazing when it comes to Biblical knowledge – chances are, they’ll be able to recite all the scriptures we’ll use in our time with them! Courtney and Ronne (the team leaders) have considered Little House our “home away from home” since 2009, when we were privileged to be a part of the first team of missionaries to visit the orphanage.  Orphan Outreach “adopted” Little House that same year, and now church teams from all over the US have answered prayer after prayer. These teams have done construction & painting, helped provide livestock and clean drinking water, taught job skills, established a sponsorship program, and most importantly, just spent time loving on kids.

Mi Especial Tesoro – Chimaltenango, Guatemala
Houseparents Cesar and Carol provide a loving home for 13 teenage girls as well as an 18-year old daughter and 9-year old son of their own.  Tesoro is a private Christian girl’s home where the girls receive biblical guidance, emotional support, and stability to aid in their healing.  The girls in this home have been removed from their families by the court system due to abuse or neglect.  Orphan Outreach just celebrated their first anniversary ministering to Mi Especial Tesoro, and we have been blessed to be there every step of the way so far. In just a year, tremendous work has been done to provide improvements to living facilities, give the girls much-needed personal items, build a sponsorship program for ongoing care and support of each girl, and establish a loving, nurturing relationship with everyone there.

The Ravine and The Ravine School – Chimaltenango, Guatemala

The Ravine School serves the children of the families that work in the city of Chimaltenango’s garbage dump, which is located in a ravine outside the city. The school was created in the minds and souls of the Mi Especial Tesoro caregivers, Carol and Cesar. The school started from an effort to teach the girls of My Special Treasure about serving others. In 2012, Carol and Cesar starting bringing the MST girls to the ravine dump to assist the children and families each Saturday. Around 100 people work at the ravine dump everyday, searching and sorting for things they can re-sell at the market on the weekends.  These families work from 12 to 14 hours a day of work making roughly between 3 to 4 US dollars a day. Their job is difficult, but it is worthy of admiration and respect because these parents work hard to be able to provide for their children in an honest and worthy way.

Cabecitas de Algodon 
Just a short walk from the center of Antigua, this nursing home provides a place for elderly residents that would otherwise be homeless.  Many of the residents either have no family to care for them or have been dropped off because their families don’t have the resources to provide basic necessities.  Though our visit will be brief, it will bring joy to the residents who are happy to see friendly faces.
  • Please pray for our team as we serve the beautiful people of Guatemala. We are all excited and can’t wait to see what God does in and around us this week.
  • Pray that we will be flexible and open to whatever God has in store!
  • For me specifically, please pray for the continued safety of our little baby (14 weeks tomorrow) as I travel. We’re starting him/her as a traveler from the beginning! 🙂
  • Please also pray that God will work in my heart this week in mighty ways.
There will be plenty of pictures and stories when I return! 🙂

Day Nine: I’m Thankful For…Mr. Milton S. Hershey

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Preface: Last year I decided to express my thanks during the month of November for something new each day, as so many others have done before me. I never finished this series, so that’s my goal this year. I am re-posting the ones I wrote last year and adding new ones. This was originally posted on 11/09/12 (with slight changes made today).

I used to say that if I could meet any historical figure it would be James Madison. While I would still love to sit down with Mr. Madison, I have a new answer to that question: Mr. Milton S. Hershey, truly one of the world’s greatest men.

In a world filled with greed and selfishness, hearing stories and accounts of truly amazing and generous people is very refreshing. Mr. Hershey fits the very definition of selflessness.

In 1909, Mr. & Mrs. Hershey decided to start a school for orphaned boys, as they couldn’t have children of their own. The school still exists today and has 1,850 students who live here and are educated, fed, clothed, taken care of medically/dentally, etc.,  for free. Mr. Hershey gave his entire fortune, twice, to the school to ensure that it could exist FOREVER, and the school is still here more than 100 years later! It’s the whole reason that the Chocolate and the other properties exist today – to help fund the school. 

In the past three years of working for one of his companies and for his school, I have learned so much about the man and his vision. The more I learn, the more I love and respect him, even though I’ve never had the privilege of meeting him. Without Mr. Hershey’s vision and determination this would likely still be a rural area with a struggling economy, and thousands of boys and girls would never have been impacted by the school that he and his wife began. And it all started with chocolate. 🙂

Now that we work for the Milton Hershey School (caring for HIS kids), I am even more thankful for what he left as a legacy (to read more about why we love working for MHS, see this post). He was a man determined to put others before himself and he was always focused on giving his wealth where it was most needed. These kids have a safe, loving environment to grow up in at no cost to them or their families…all because Mr. Hershey didn’t see wealth as something to hold on to, but something to give to those in need.

He built the entire town of Hershey for his employees–that they might have a great place to live, work, and play. I have loved living in and near Hershey for the past few years, surrounded by such a rich history.

There’s so much more that could be said about him. I’m so thankful that he was not blinded by his wealth, nor was he selfish. Instead, he gave it all away so that “his kids” would be funded indefinitely and ensured of a better life. And that’s a great reason to buy Hershey’s Chocolate 🙂

The Help Experiment

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Our culture has become so individualistic and compartmentalized that we rarely take the time to help other people.

It’s rare that we even notice a need because we’re so wrapped up in our own lives and our own problems.

It breaks my heart that we are surprised and excited when we hear that someone helped someone else selflessly, expecting nothing in return. It happens so rarely that it is always unexpected and stunning. Shouldn’t the opposite be stunning – that we can ignore the needs of someone else without a thought?

And yet, what if the norm could be changed?

The Help Experiment is seeking to do just that: to make helping people the norm and not the exception.

Everyone has skills, talents, passions that can help someone else! From offering financial advice to preparing a meal for you, we’ve already seen some AMAZING and selfless offers from individuals.

Helping people doesn’t just impact the recipient – it impacts the giver as well (as evidenced in this video, for example).

Come, join us. There are no obligations to give. If you need something, you can also make requests to the group!

“Joining does not mean you must participate in any fashion, we would love for you to simply come on in and check us out! You never know, someone might be offering some help that you need, right now! We help because we can, we help because we should and we help because we feel like… you would too.”

We’re here to help each other, and by doing so, we just might change the world.

To read more about The Help Experiment, check out this blog by one of my fellow leadership team members.

New Perspective…Part One.

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So, something occurred to me in the past twenty-four hours that just might be an answer to a long-standing prayer of mine. Maybe. It’s at least getting me closer to understanding the “why” of my jobs, past and present. I have split this into two blog posts because it’s far too much for one post.

First, some background:

In 2001, I was ready to take on the world. I wanted to be the governor of California someday, with every intention of being my friend’s vice-president in 2028 (we even had a website!). High-profile aspiration is an understatement.

That’s how I saw myself: working in politics to change our country for the better, and everyone would know my name and how awesome I was. I wanted to feel important, to feel admired, to feel respected because of my capabilities, talents, and brilliance. In one word: pride.

Over the next few years I interned with Newt Gingrich in Washington, D.C. (2003), I worked on (and ran) several campaigns, attended the 2005 Presidential Inauguration (and a ball) and was even on ABC for thirty-seconds. I attended campaign training at President Reagan’s ranch in Santa Barbara and was pictured in TIME Magazine with the rest of the training group. I was on my way…or so I thought.

Fast-forward to 2007: Two years past graduation and I was still living in Southern California (not my plan). I kept trying to get back to D.C. but doors just would not open. Instead, I was working for a financial company fixing tax returns all day long–completely low-profile–along with doing youth ministry at my church (nearly full-time for a while). I eventually became content (but not fully happy) in the tax job and even tried to move into management, to no avail. Even though my bosses said I was the perfect candidate for management, I continued to be passed over for promotions, and it didn’t make sense to any of us. But, it was a good job so I remained there.

In December 2007, I felt God urging me to pray for discomfort. My faith had grown stagnant and I was desperate for a change. He brought to my attention all of the accounts in the Bible of people who grew tremendously through trials and discomfort (and never through times of prosperity or easy living)…

…so I did it. I began praying for the next year that God would make me uncomfortable in order for me to become more like Jesus. God definitely delivered. 2008 was one of the toughest years of my life thus far, and I never DREAMED of what God would call me to do/lead me through. From the spiritual struggles to the physical (pneumonia), He used that year to the fullest to mold and shape me. I knew it would be a challenging year (I could probably write a book), but I never dreamed of the growth and transformation that would take place by surrendering to God’s plan and letting go of my own.

The biggest change was my move to Pennsylvania. I had been contemplating this for many years but kept trying to do things my way and nothing ever worked out. I visited PA in October 2007 and during that trip I realized that I didn’t want to live in Southern California anymore, at all. The realization even brought me to tears one day.

I began praying that God would allow me to move to PA, and I prayed for six months before I felt an answer from the Lord. He said that I could stay or go, and that He would use me wherever I was. That was a huge lesson in itself, realizing that sometimes God allows us to make decisions and that sometimes there is no “right” answer.

I moved to Harrisburg, PA on July 31, 2008 knowing only two people in the city, having no job, and having very little money. I chose Harrisburg because of it being the center of Pennsylvania politics. I worked through a temp agency for awhile until obtaining a job with a lobbying firm–which I thought was PERFECT! This was it–my door into the political arena!

Boy, was I wrong. Looking back, I firmly believe that God allowed me to have that position for a year to show me that He did NOT want me in politics. It was a terrible year–the job was a terrible fit and I was so miserable in that role. I saw a side of politics that I had never seen before and I was completely disillusioned. I was let go on 09/09/09 and the joy that I felt was indescribable! Most people aren’t happy after being fired (or, in my case, “forced to quit”), but I felt all the heaviness that had weighed on my heart disappear and I felt so free.

From there, I was unemployed for a year, and that year was an incredible gift to me. I watched as God provided faithfully for me and I was able to pay my rent until April 2010, when I moved in with Brennan’s aunt and uncle until our wedding. I was able to focus on church planting and mission trips, and I was so joy-filled through it all. I got engaged during this time, so this also allowed me to focus on wedding plans/marriage. God’s provision was constant, and though it was a humbling year, I learned to accept help from others and to not be proud.

I worked for a temp agency as much as possible (talk about humbling), and in June 2010 I began working part-time for a consulting firm (huge blessing). In September 2010 I obtained a second part-time job (my current role) and was finally working full-time again. I learned more during that year of unemployment than I thought possible! It was a humbling and faith-filled year.

That brings me to today…I have been in my current role for two and a half years. I have never been recognized or thanked for my work by my supervisor. I do work that a high school student could do. I have never had a raise (and I don’t make much to begin with). I do not use my very expensive, hard-earned bachelor’s degree. I go most days completely unnoticed by my co-workers (and have NEVER been asked to join them for lunch when they go out). My gifts and talents go by the wayside as I watch the clock day by day, waiting for 3:00pm to arrive so that I can do things that actually matter. I feel completely unappreciated and overlooked. I have applied for and even interviewed for MANY jobs during this time period, but God has not opened any other doors. So I have remained here, despite how miserable I tend to be here.

Even my role as a relief houseparent at MHS is largely a “thankless” job (from the students themselves, not from the supervisors or the houseparents…students aren’t going to thank you for disciplining them, haha). Don’t get me wrong–I LOVE it, and it’s highly rewarding to help these students make decisions and learn lessons! My point is that they don’t care about the fact that I’m intelligent, a great musician/vocalist; they don’t really care that I am a good photographer, or that I was once in TIME Magazine. They just want to be fed (they are middle school boys, after all 🙂 ), entertained, and kept safe. Above all, they want to be loved.

So why has God been allowing me to go through these things? I think I’ve determined His reasons…

To be continued…