It’s been a long four months.
It started in early March with learning that we had lost the two embryos we had transferred in February. Then, just a week later, everything began to shut down. The following week Brennan was told he would be off for thirty days (which was extended several times and ended up being ninety-four days).
In April and May we dealt with the common stressors of not being able to get toilet paper, common groceries, etc. We figured out our new normal and fell into a great routine. But, still the heaviness and uncertainty of the pandemic raging all around us wore on us.
In June we found out that Brennan would be going back to work and we were grateful, though it made me feel disappointed (that our wonderful quarantine life was coming to a close), apprehensive (about going back to being on my own during the day with two very busy toddlers), and uncertain (about finances with Brennan’s work hours and workload being less than before).
June also brought the transformation of our house from two apartments to one house, so that was mostly a great thing. Now we have many, many projects to accomplish.
So, why are we doing a “No Facebook” experiment?
I began to notice that I was spending too much time on Facebook, and that it wasn’t even making me happy – in fact, it was making me feel anxious and irritated. I used the “snooze” feature to temporarily hide negative people from my News Feed, I unfollowed those who continued to spread conspiracy theories, negativity, etc. Yet I still found myself feeling worse than before after being on there. The thought of leaving Facebook for awhile began to become appealing, though I don’t like the feeling of “missing out” on things.
In addition, I’ve been struggling to get a rhythm back since Brennan went back to work, and being on Facebook wasn’t helping me get things done. I found myself scrolling mindlessly whenever the boys were happily playing on their own instead of accomplishing something productive. I wasted so much time.
Even though I’m an Enneagram 1, I struggle with self-discipline. I’ve found that I have to go all-in when changes need to be made. It has to be all or nothing, or I will fall right back into my old habits. I’m struggling to be disciplined in several areas so this week is for that, too. It’s time to take control and be who I (and the Lord) want me to be.
So, I proposed to Brennan that we do something a bit radical for us: stay off Facebook for a week. Just a week. At the end of the week we can evaluate how we feel and how to proceed. We will also use this week to try a new morning routine. We have such limited time now that he’s back to work and we want to make the most of it.
Next Sunday I will write about how the week went, what we learned, and how we will move forward. It’s only been half a day and I already feel better, honestly. Less noise, fewer distractions, more peace. Let’s hope we can make positive – and lasting – changes as a result of this week.